I Don't Think Your Girlfriend Should Wear One of These

Far be it from me to tell anyone else what to wear, but I absolutely cannot support the idea of these pink girl jerseys available at NFLShop.com. You can click here to have a look at them. They're white jerseys with pink numbers, and the player's name spelled out on the back in pink. I think there's some glitter or something on there, too. All the jerseys have the exact same colors except for, oddly enough, Jake Plummer's pink jersey. I guess his is for women with beards.

There are a couple of basic reasons why people wear jerseys, the most pure of which is to support an individual's favorite team or player. Other acceptable reasons include actually being a football player, appearing in a rap video, or a wish to support all of the fine artists that regularly appear on MTV's Sucka Free Sundays. These jerseys do none of the above.

These jerseys say something about the woman wearing them, These jerseys say, "I will wear absolutely anything to gain a man's approval, but if it's all the same to you, I'd rather it was pink and pretty. Please love me, okay?"

It makes me uncomfortable. As a fan, you either support the team, or you don't. And fan allegiance isn't closed to anyone of any gender, but I'm sorry, if you're going to call a team your own, you have to accept their color scheme as well. Even if you find the Bears combination of dark blue and orange to be unattractive, young lady, you can put up with it for a few hours on Sundays. You can't just pretend that they wear pink, no matter how much Rex Grossman would like them to.

I can only think of a couple of circumstances under which it would be acceptable to wear one of these jerseys.

1) To taunt another team's quarterback. For example, I think it would be awesome if 60,000 Patriots fans showed up for a game against the Colts wearing pink Peyton Manning jerseys.

2) You're a female wearing a pink Michael Vick jersey, and you're looking to make the statement, "You know, genital herpes wouldn't really be that big of a deal to me."