Artist's conception of Columbus after Nov. 18th
The prospect of a #1-#2 matchup between Michigan and Ohio State in Columbus must have the Ohio National Guard quaking in fear already. No couch in a five-hundred mile radius will be safe. Michigan fans should travel in groups of at least fifty, taser guns at the ready. Children with six toes on each hand and teeth coming out their ears will flood local hospitals nine months afterwards in the (hideously unlikely) event of a Buckeye victory.
Now take all that and add five hours of drinking: cats and dogs living together! Mass hysteria! Internet rumors have been flying around that ABC, ever in search of higher ratings, wanted to move the game to an 8 PM start despite already having an attractive USC-Cal matchup there. Well... it ain't true. The Game will be played at 3:30:
"That is not possible," Rudner said. "That is 100 percent not possible. Whatever people are saying about that (move), that is something that has simply been conjured up."Which is good: if I go I have a chance of coming out alive. It is also bad: Columbus will not be swallowed up by the maw of hell and thus removed from this dimension. Pity.