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Clinton Got Da Flavor-Flav Don't Hide

Nov 2, 2006 – 4:20 PM
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Unsilent Majority

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As it turns out I was way off on my prediction for Clinton Portis' bye week activities. Instead of participating in a kick ass costume contest he might have found himself another outlet for entertainment. Her name is London Charles, but you may know her as Deelishis, the "winner" on season 2 of Flavor Flav's reality show, Flavor of Love. The gossip is in full force after leaked the rumor that Clinton and London have been "cozying up" with one another.

Apparently the star-crossed relationship between Flav and Deelishis just couldn't hold up to the test of time; he's reportedly shacked up with the latest in a long line of women he's impregnated (he's still shooting for double digits). The newest of Flav's offspring will make number seven for the meshuggina MC turned reality show star. Apparently Flav just wasn't satisfied by the news of the 300 millionth American birth, at this rate he'll have an entire starting defense by 2008. Perhaps Gregg Williams could be their new nanny.

As I've previously stated I'm thrilled to see Clinton blowing off some steam, still, I have three reservations about endorsing such a courtship. Firstly Clinton has a big game to get ready for and it would be pretty tough to beat Dallas with a star running back ravaged by poisoned arrows. Secondly there's the pre-existing injury that has me concerned. Even though he's back at practice Clinton has spent the past ten days walking off a high ankle sprain.My worst nightmare involves my favorite player's precious leg giving out under the weight of himself and a voluptuous young lovely (actually my worst nightmare is being locked in a windowless room with Ken Beatrice and an eight ball). Lastly I must articulate my concerns for Lil' Clint. Flav just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who uses proper protection (see above). This means that if these rumors are true (and I stress the word rumors as strongly as possible) there's a chance Clinton opened himself up to a whole litany of Venus' wrath.

Good luck Clinton, if I weren't such a bad Jew you'd be in my prayers.

UPDATE: According to London's manager, Krissy Johnson of Phenomenon Productions, the rumor is completely false. She commented via email, "London Charles has never met Clinton Portis and didn't even know who he was until she heard the rumor on the radio." Oh well, I enjoyed the hell out of the story while it lasted. It would have been fun seeing Clinton involved with a woman like Deelishis, but it probably wouldn't have worked out in the long run...she did bang Flav in his shower on cable television.

(For a more profane take on the Clinton/Deelishis rumors check out the brilliance over at the world's foremost NFL humor blog, Kissing Suzy Kolber)*

*may not be appropriate for some work environments
Filed under: Sports