Top Three NBA Bleeders of the Weekend

Did you know that in Australia, NBA stands for National Blood Authority? Well, this got Miss Gossip thinking about some of the National Basketball Association's best bleeders. Here are the top three for this past weekend.

3. Third place goes to Boris Diaw in Friday's Suns-Bucks game. The game itself wasn't the bloody massacre some expected (sorry to those Suns fans who had hunting metaphors at the ready). The Bucks scored at will in the first half and the Suns were forced to play a little [dramatic pause] defense! Boris Diaw (who lately has not been playing his best) tried to earn brownie points on D, and consequently took a hard blow to the nose from one of those sharp-elbowed Bucks. At first the commentators declared the nose broken, but later reported that it was fine ("he's just a bleeder!"). By the way, Boris wasn't actually crying. Come on, you know your eyes water when you get hit in the nose.

2. The number two nod goes to Tracy McGrady in the Rockets-Cavs game. As fellow Fanhouser Nate describes, T-Mac fell to friendly fire on Saturday and suffered a concussion at the hand (read: elbow) of teammate Mutombo. "But there was no blood," you say. Well, no blood that you could see, but "concussion" is just fancy terminology for "internal head bleeding." Ok, I just made that part up, I have no idea. But anyway, as of this writing, Rockets trainer Keith Jones is reporting that McGrady is feeling better. When asked "how many fingers am I holding up?" T-Mac responded, "the number of wins in the Atlantic division." Oh snap!

1. And the number one bleeder prize goes to the Knicks in ... all home games. Despite the off-court warm-fuzzies, the Knicks are finding it hard to, uh, coagulate on homecourt. With Saturday's loss to the Raptors, the Knicks are now 1-7 at home. Ouch. Someone hand Isiah a tourniquet to stop the bleeding, STAT!