A Wish List for the Jets

With the holidays just around the corner, it's always so hard to figure out what someone wants. If you are reading this and happen to be shopping for any of the players on the Jets, here are some ideas.

Chad Pennington (QB - Captain)
Gift: One Year's Hair Cuttery gift certificates.
Reason: Sure the Hair Cuttery sucks, but it'll look better than his current mop.

Nick Mangold (C)
Gift: Zirh Starter Shave Kit
Reason: Hey Nick, Grizzly Adams called, he wants his bear back.

Pete Kendall (LG - Captain)
Gift: The explosion SNY reporter Steve Overmeyer's head.
Reason: If you had seen the interview in the link above before, you would already understand.

D'Brickashaw Ferguson (LT)
Gift: A "Beer Barrel Belly Buster" Burger at Denny's Beer Barrel Pub.
Reason: One of the biggest knocks on this year's best LT prospect was his weight. This could help end that concern.

Laveranues Coles (WR)
Gift: TMX Tickle me Elmo
Reason: After meeting Elmo last week, maybe it will give him some inspiration for new TD celebrations.

Kimo von Oelhoffen (DE)
Gift: Rollerskate key
Reason: Since he is playing like he is on skates, he might want to try and take them off with the biggest game of the year coming on Christmas night.

Bryan Thomas (DE / OLB)
Gift: A pat on the back.
Reason: Christmas came early for Thomas, who received a deserved contract extension for his play in the 3-4.

Jonathan Vilma (ILB)
Gift: Custom home theatre installation.
Reason: Vilma is a film maven, and has gotten at least one other player, Kerry Rhodes to come over to watch game tape with him religiously every week. If he's taking his work home with him, he might as well have a kickass way to watch it. (OK he probably already does have this).

Victor Hobson (OLB)
Gift: An extra 1/10 of a second off his 40 time.
Reason: Hobson has had a career year in 2006, fitting the 3-4 very well. Hobson has five sacks already on the season, more than in his three previous years, but he has had a couple of incidents (roughing the passer) where he was a fraction of a second late, or he only got a knock-down. A little extra quicks could make him devastating next year.

Kerry Rhodes (S)
Gift: Comedy lessons from Dave Chappelle.
Reason: Rhodes has become one of my favorite Jets early in 2005, but as he has received more attention, he has tried to crack some jokes to the media this year, who didn't really get it. There used to be a video on YouTube, but it's gone now, so you just have to trust me.

Brian Schottenheimer (OC)
Gift: A contract extension with a clause explaining that if he leaves early, breach of contract is punishable by death.
Reason: It's year one, but the passing offense has been what's carried the team for the majority of the season. Schottenheimer's understanding of how to attack defenses is invaluable, my fear is that he gets tapped as a head coach elsewhere rather soon.