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Prop Bets for Heat v. Lakers

Dec 24, 2006 – 3:00 PM
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Craig Kwasniewski

Craig Kwasniewski %BloggerTitle%

Just came back from Vegas, here's a few prop bets that were (not) on the board for the Heat-Lakers clash on Christmas Day:

-Over/under for thrown headbands by Smush Parker is four. This happens every time Phil Jackson yanks Parker out of the game for several bad plays like dribbling the ball off his foot, giving up on defense and not dribbling across the half-court in eight seconds (this happened once a game last year). Just imagine if he threw his headband after EVERY bad play, we're talking 15 thrown headbands a game!

-Over/under for primal screams by Alonzo Mourning is six.
Does blocking a Sasha Vujacic lay-up really merit a primal scream? Does Zo Mourning let off a primal scream when he cuts off a old lady on the freeway? What about when finishing a game of Sudoku?

-Over/under for finger points to the sky by Alonzo Mourning is 3,271. I'm taking the over on this one. By the way, I'm glad that "god" has taken your side on the defensive end of the floor. So when Kobe dunks over you, do you equally blame god? And while we're here, can we please get a devil worshiper in professional sports? I just want to hear once in the post-game interview, "I'd like to thank Satan, the lord of all that is evil, for guiding me to 15 points and 12 rebounds." Just once!

-Over/under for the times that Mychal Thompson references Magic Johnson and the 1980's Lakers during the broadcast is 2,761. Thompson is the color commentator for the Lakers radio broadcast. His in-depth analysis usually boils down to "Magic would never let THAT happen" and "Riley would have called timeout."

-Over/under for Antoine Walker jumpers that hit the side of the backboard is five.
His poor shot selection and the fact that he started the season woefully out of shape is making Heat fans forget how great he played in the NBA Finals.

-Over/under for Dwyane Wade flopping after a lay-up and taking an extra long time getting up is three. Mike Breen and Hubie Brown will gush each time on how much of a warrior he is and how he simply can't play that style of ball and expect to have a long career. Dwyane, please stop with the flopping. You're a top-five player in the NBA and you don't need to depend on the theatrics. Please, I beg you... please don't make me call you the black Manu Ginobili.

-Over/under for Sasha Vujacic arguing a call with the refs (even though he blatantly hacked someone) is 12. All was great in Lakerland when they let Devean George go, then Kupchak turns around and extends this douchebag for two more years. Two more years!

-Over/under for "NBA experts" claiming Denver is a title contender is 231. Sorry guys, George Karl is the head coach. Need I remind you of his past coaching failures? Fine, I will: 1994 and 1995 Seattle Supersonics, 2002 Milwaukee Bucks, 2002 Team USA World Championship and the 2006 Denver Nuggets. I love A.I., but George Karl will kill this team.
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