Bears Won't Blink, Neither Will Lovie Smith

Why do the Bears hate their coaches? ESPN's Chris Mortensen is reporting that contract talks between Lovie Smith and the Chicago Bears are going nowhere. Said Frank Bauer, Smith's agent:

"We're not close, we're not encouraged, and based on where talks have gone recently, Lovie will be a free agent after next season.

"It would take an unforseen breakthrough for this to get done. And we are being more than reasonable in this market."

What the hell, Bears? What does a coach have to do get paid in that organization? Lovie Smith could win the Super Bowl, trim the Bears salary cap number down to seventeen dollars and forty-five cents, personally impregnate the biggest and strongest women in the world to breed a new generation of genetically-superior Chicago Bears, melt down every bronze bust that's in the Hall of Fame that is not of a Chicago Bear, and then sculpt the molten bronze into a giant statue of Mike Ditka putting out the Chicago fire with his super-human stream of majestic urine, and place that statue in front of the new Soldier Field, which he built by himself, with his own bare hands, brick by brick ... and Lovie Smith still wouldn't get paid.

I'm really curious ... to whom to the Bears attribute last year's Super Bowl season? It wasn't Ron Rivera, because they let him walk. It wasn't Lovie Smith, because they won't pay him. It certainly can't be Rex Grossman, because he's Rex Grossman. Did Urlacher get there by himself?

Either the Bears attribute their recent success to someone or something that we don't know about, or they're just extremely cheap. Cheap seems more likely.