Most Crushable Player Race: Dwight So Right

Each week Skeets looks at the players who would have the best shot at the league MVP award if the season ended today. Why? I have no idea. Your girl Miss Gossip will instead be analyzing the more titillating MCP race each week. (I'm totally kidding. Obviously I won't subject you to this more than bi-weekly.)

1. Dwight Howard, Magic: Mr. Howard leaped from a non-contender to number one after his All-Star coming out party. Freakish athletic ability + hilarious dance moves = slam crush! His adorable post-dunk contest vulnerability begged for a hug ... but I've heard that his real talents lie in the kissing department.

2. Gilbert Arenas, Wizards: If you're looking for a handful, Mr. Arenas is ready to trampoline into your heart. When he's not posing for sexy PR pictures he's penning words on his blog to tickle your soul. This super-hygienic star also has excellent taste in t-shirts.

3. Sam Mitchell, Raptors: Coaches deserve groupie love too! I've been "smitchen" with Mr. Mitchell ever since his inspiring words about respect. He has a lighter side though, as evidenced by his jokes about the KKK and other hilarious subjects. He's also coached his Raptors to do aight for themselves. Plus chicks dig dinosaurs.

On the cusp: Stephon Marbury, Mike Miller, Yao Ming, Kobe Bryant.