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Jim Leyland Is Not Amused

Mar 14, 2007 – 2:34 PM
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Tom Fornelli

Tom Fornelli %BloggerTitle%

The Tigers played like the old Tigers in a 4-3 loss yesterday to the Dodgers, and Jim Leyland is not very happy with his team right now.


"We didn't do very well today. We won't tolerate that, I can assure you. I won't tolerate nonchalant players. I don't give a (bleep) who they are."


What Leyland didn't divulge was who he was referring to. Sure, you could say it's the entire team and not an individual, but what fun is that?


What is fun is trying to figure out who exactly The Black Lung is angry with, and why. Let's look at some possibilities.


  • Magglio Ordoñez-The Black Lung doesn't mind washing Maggs' hair so much, he finds it relaxing. The problem is Magglio never combs his flowing locks, and The Black Lung will not tolerate laziness on the field or when it comes to personal hygiene.
  • Kenny Rogers-The Black Lung accidentally sat down in a mysterious brown substance left on the Tigers bench by The Gambler, and as a result had a hilariously misinterpreted brown stain on his ass the rest of the day.
  • Gary Sheffield-The Sheff keeps calling The Black Lung Joe Torre.
  • Joel Zumaya-Zumaya routinely plays Guitar Hero II in the clubhouse despite The Black Lung's constant pleas to "Turn that [expletive] hippie [expletive] off!!"
  • Todd Jones-Because he's Todd Jones.
  • Nate Robertson-The Black Lung cannot stand Robertson's infatuation with chewing gum, repeatedly informing his pitcher that, "Gum is for [expletive.] Men chew tobacco!"

There are other suspects on the Tigers roster, but as of now these few remain the front runners.

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