Jose Canseco Is Too Lame for the Lamest Show on TV

OK, so Dancing With The Stars probably isn't the lamest show out there -- that show about being smarter than 5th graders probably takes the cake -- but thanks to the dancing, the glitter, the lights, the judges, and the stars, Dancing With The Stars is an altogether mindless waste of time, just like I like 'em.

A few athletes usually join each Stars cast. For example, Jerry Rice has participated, and Emmitt Smith won last year. This year, former NBA All-Star Clyde Drexler and speed skating gold medalist Apolo Anton Ohno, as well female boxer Laila Ali, are filling the athletes' seats, and somewhat capably, if Monday night's first show was any indication.

But the two weren't the only athletes pining for attention on the show. Jose Canseco, steroid aficionado and former baseball player, wanted in too:

Apparently, what he was doing was getting face time to try to provide some material evidence to the "rumors" that he would be the next Dancing With the Stars sports star - Rumors that evidently, Canseco was planting himself. It seems that the plan was to get as much face time in the gossip columns as possible so as to make it seem that he was the prime candidate for the spot. Sort of the self fulfilling prophecy strategy. The plan obviously didn't work as Clyde the Glide and the speed skater are strutting their stuff on network TV while Canseco tries to figure out if he really is just destined to do softcore porn.

Just when you couldn't get any more fed up with Canseco's sad, depressing antics, he goes and does something like this ... and TOTALLY REDEEMS HIMSELF!

Frankly, I say it's not too late to let Canseco in. It would totally boost ratings, even if people only tuned in because they were angry. Plus, they could boot Joey Fatone -- a professional dancer in an amateur dance competition who, if Monday's show is any indication, is going to win every single round -- and make room for Canseco's bumbling, HGH-enhanced twinkle-toes. Even the playing field a little bit.

(HT: Gaslamp Ball, Deadspin)