Breaking News: Johan Santana Is A Lot Better Than You

It says a lot about a pitcher when he can go out and throw seven innings of scoreless baseball while giving up only one hit--and a cheap one at that--and nobody really seems impressed.

That's where Johan Santana is right now.

He's so good at what he does that when he does go out and pitch a beauty you don't even bat an eyelash. It's just what he does, and it's what you expect him to do. What shocks people is when he gives up four runs in six innings, like he did against the Orioles in his last start.

For the White Sox, it's nothing new. After Johan dominated them all afternoon in a 3-1 Twins victory in Chicago, it improved his career record against the Sox to 10-1 in his last 12 starts against them. He owns them.

"That's the way I am," Santana said. "I'll do it to any team. I don't have any preference for any teams. I don't disrespect any teams. ... That's the way I've been doing it. I'm always going to stay aggressive and do my job."

The White Sox are so lost against Santana that it seems Ozzie Guillen is going to have to resort to drastic measures. That's right.

He's going to call his mommy.

"I'm going to call my mom in Venezuela to come here and cook for him," Guillen joked. "We'll poison him. If he eats what my mom cooks, he will be in trouble to pitch the next day."

At this point it's the only option the White Sox, or anybody really, have left.

Previously at the Fanhouse:
Javier Vazquez Takes A Bite Out Of The Piranhas
The American League Should Be Very Scared