GOP Leader: Abortion Is A 'Lifestyle Convenience'
LOOK: Amazing Underwater Photos Of Dogs
Yes, Ohio's quest to surpass Alabama as the home of the nation's most sadly deranged college football fans continues apace: "Tressel Hayes Huffines -- sounds as sweet as an OSU victory over Michigan," Brent Huffines, 27, said Sunday while cradling the 3-day-old boy in the neonatal intensive care unit at Ohio State University Medical Center.But wait, there's more! Tressel Hayes Huffines is the sixth Ohio child in the past four years to be named "Tressel". All of them await a life wherein they seethe with impotent rage at their boss Meyer Spurrier Randomlastname but are powerless to do anything but watch as he runs off with their wives, adopts their children, and burns down their house Keyser Soze style. But Huffines alone will punch some random South Carolinian who wanders into the wrong McDonalds one fateful morning and intercepts an apple pie destined for one of his buddies.
(Disclaimer: Michigan fan, owned by Ohio State, you are my daddy, etc etc etc. At least I'm naming my hypothetical kids things like "Howard," which is a completely plausible first name, if one destined to get the poor thing's face kicked in on a regular basis.)
WATCH: Trita Parsi Says There's No 'Military Solution' In Iran Nuclear Standoff
Marriage Equality In New Jersey Now In Chris Christie's Hands
BUCHANAN OUT AT MSNBC
Payroll Tax Deal Finalized Before Vote
MLB Hall Of Famer Dies
CNN Cancels Debate After Romney And Paul Pull Out
House Dems Walk Out Of Birth Control Hearing
Why You Shouldn't Buy An iPad This Month
Why Washington Won't Quit Talking Birth Control
WATCH: Clinton Aides Open Up About Lewinsky Affair
Dems: Investigate Rove's Secret Money Group
Santorum Backer: 'In My Days, They Used Bayer Aspirin For Contraception'
Colo. Sheriff To Romney: You Owe Me $25,000
Congress Warned 'Toxic Stress' Dooms Homeless Children To Lifelong Poverty
'Colbert Report' Abruptly Suspends Production For The Week
Americans Households Still Failing Financial Distress Test
Why New England Town Wants $286,000 Police 'Tank'
WATCH: Fox News Host Makes Shocking Comment About Black Rep.
Pelosi Rips GOP Over Birth Control: I May Be "Moved To Explain Biology To My Colleagues"
Santorum Talks Economy, Knocks Bush On Bailout, Aligns Himself With Reagan
Overwhelming Majority For UN Resolution Calling On Syria's Assad To Step Down
New Jersey School Bus Crash Kills 1, Injures 17
Jimmy Carter Casts Movement As 'Relatively Successful'
