I knew today was going to be a lot harder than yesterday. Sometime around nine o'clock last night I saw a picture of the first confirmed victim, Ryan Clark. He was a Resident Advisor in the dorm where the shootings began, which is connected to my dorm. Goosebumps shot down my back and my breath let out and took a few seconds to return. That was enough for one day.
I had my alarm set, but woke up more than an hour before it would ring. A plethora of e-mails, voicemails, and text messages filled with warm sentiment and concern awaited me, and I honestly haven't even checked them all yet. My roommate seemed to have been up for quite some time as he gave me all the major updates I missed through the night. I turned on the television and more names and pictures of victims were being shown. This has to be the most heart-wrenching morning of my entire life.
CNN just showed a picture of who they believe to be the gunman, Cho Seung-Hui. Yesterday I probably would have spat at the screen and flipped him an emphatic middle finger, but now I just stared, creased my lips to the corner of my mouth, dropped my eyes, and patted the back of my head.
I'd like to thank everyone who has linked to the small piece I wrote yesterday: Dan Shanoff, We Are the Postmen, Larry Brown Sports, Running with Scissors, Sports by Brooks and anyone else I'm missing in this blur of a morning. A few classmates of mine read it and seem to carry the same state of mind. My largest concern was portraying our feelings accurately and it seems I was close enough. We all appreciate the amount of sorrow our nation has expressed as we can all relate to how sad this really was.
I know every fiber of fashion sense in your body is telling you it's a terrible idea, but try to throw on some maroon and orange today. Wear it with the same pride we wear it with every day.