Tiger Woods' House to Be More Boring Than He Is

It's hard not to respect Tiger Woods. He's made himself the world's best golfer -- by a wide margin -- and has done it with the singular focus and sheer determination of the great white attacking that poor, unsuspecting seal on the "Planet Earth" series. Metaphors aside, Woods is taking a small chunk of his earnings ($44.5 million, to be exact) and building a big-person's house. You know, because he's all growed up now. Anyway, the Palm Beach Post has all the (amazingly boring) details:

The 9,729-square-foot, two-story main house is smack-dab in the middle of a 12-acre tropical forest that stretches from the beach to the Intracoastal.
The home is modest, almost nondescript, at least on paper. No Palm Beach-style castle. No McMansion. No flourishing Mizner job. The artist's rendition shows a simple, yet modern-looking building with giant windows on one side and barely any on the other.
The main home will be connected to a 6,400-square-foot gym-media room-bar with a glass-covered walkway. There's an elevator. A reflecting pond. A library and a children's playroom. A weirdly skinny lap pool. And a steel roof.
From the outside, the place looks like a northern European part-brick, part-concrete motel or government building.

Sounds quaint. My favorite parts are the 6,400-square-foot gym/media room/bar and the reflecting pool. You know, so after you work out and have a few pops you can reflect on your smoking hot wife and how much money you have. I also love the fact that the place will allegedly look like a motel, or worse ... a government building. But hey, at least it's not a McMansion.