Arrrrrrgghh Ya Wonderin' About Christian Okoye?

If you thought it was demeaning for ex-athletes to dress in sequins and prance around on Dancing With the Stars, CBS would like to up the ante. They're taking Christian Okoye, and putting him in puffy shirts and eyepatches, sticking him on a boat, and having him try to find $1 million.

On "Pirate Master," 16 contestants will live aboard a 179-foot, square-rigged barque. Over the course of 33 days, they'll live as buccaneers, traveling around a Caribbean island in search of a treasure totaling $1 million. Each episode will find the contestants gathering at Pirate's Court, overseen by host Cameron Daddo, where they'll state their case and somebody will be cut adrift.

At 45-years-old, the Nigerian Nightmare, who rushed for 1480 yards and 12 touchdowns in 1989, is also the oldest member of the "Pirate Master" cast. Only 43-year-old marina owner Louie Frase comes close in the decidedly young-skewing cast.

Wow. Frame it as, "CBS has a new reality show called Pirate Master, I'd think to myself, "That sounds unbelievably dumb." However, come to me and say, "Christian Okoye is in Pirate Master on CBS" ... and I'm sold. We are in business, my friend.

I was an Okoye fan ... and that's saying something, considering that he played for a division rival. In a way, he was the ideal rival. He had a great style to watch, and he was fun ... but he didn't last long enough to truly torture any opposing fanbases. It worked out perfectly.

I don't know what he's been doing in retirement, and I don't want to know. The fact that he's surfacing now to take part in some kind of a pirate fantasy on CBS only adds to his legend.