Pollard Explains His [Expletive] Jersey Number

If Gilbert Arenas were a tall, awkward center instead of a short, devastating guard, he'd probably be a lot like Scot Pollard, whose wit and ability to perform in front of a microphone far exceeds his talent on the basketball court. As Pollard and Eddie House were being introduced by the Celtics, Pollard took advantage to spice up what should have been a brief and boring press conference. From the Boston Herald:

"Getting Kevin Garnett here was a big deal, but with us here, now you have a chance," the 32-year-old center said without breaking his deadpan expression as the unsuspecting House doubled over in amazed laughter.

And of course, my favorite:

House will wear No. 50 and Pollard No. 66. The reason?

"Because all the other (expletive) numbers were taken here," Pollard said, looking around a conference room that had the numbers of Bill Russell (6), Tom Heinsohn (15), John Havlicek (17), Robert Parish (00), Larry Bird (33) and Kevin McHale (32) hanging on the wall.

Crude, but true: as my FanHouse colleague Brett Edwards points out at The Association, the Celtics have 21 numbers retired, which definitely makes for slim pickings. With Pollard in the fold, the Celtics should be just as entertaining off the court as they are on.

Previously on FanHouse:
Thankfully, Ainge Is Still Mildly Insane
Scot Pollard Corrupts Our Youth