Mike Comrie Just Made Life Miserable for Any Islander in a Long-Term Relationship

(Meanwhile, inside the New York Islanders locker room...)

"Hey, whaddya get your girl for her birthday?"

"Ah, you know, the usual: Flowers from the local Shop 'n Save, a necklace from Target, dinner at that Italian place she likes so much, Sbarro. What about you, Comrie?"

"Oh, you know, nothing too fancy. Just a tricked-out new Mercedes-Benz G-class SUV with AMG-built 493-horsepower V-8 engine, solid axles, 18-inch AMG slotted monoblock titanium-finish wheels and 79.5 cubic feet of cargo space. Just something to get her from here to there."

Thanks, Mike Comrie. Thanks a lot. From People.com:

Hilary Duff's expectations were low when her hockey player boyfriend, Mike Comrie, called recently to say he'd picked out an early 20th birthday present for her and that "I hope you like them."

"Okay, it's shoes or something," Duff recalled thinking as she went to her sister's house, where Comrie had said he left the present in the garage. "I opened the garage, and I was just like shocked, just standing there." Before her, with a big red bow on top, was a Mercedes-Benz G-class SUV (retail price: more than $100,000).

Later in the article, the soon-to-be-20-year-old pop princess Duff is asked about the potential for an engagement to Comrie, whom she started dating earlier this year. Duff scoffed at the notion, and why not: At the current escalation rate of her boyfriend's gifts, she should have her own Cessna by Christmas 2008.

Gallons of delicious Duff are being poured at TMZ.com.