SEC Championship Game Liveblog: Second Half

A shot of tequila down the hatch thanks to the noodle-armed Dr. Pepper challenge contestant, and it's time to start round two of this championship game. The Irish Outsider is on hand providing color commentary, Tennessee is wearing monochrome Orange uniforms which are making me seasick, and Les Miles will try to throw a football through a Dr. Pepper can after the third quarter to decide if he's going to go to coach at Michigan... or something.

LSU has the rock and jumps right out with a long bomb, and now they're knocking on the door.

But wait, Tennessee shows some life on defense! A huge loss on a reverse play, topped off by the Tennessee defender doing "the worm" to celebrate. I think we've hit a new low.Gary Danielson just busted out the Pythagorean Theorem with his teleprompter pen. I was told there would be no math.

IO-"Brad Cottam is a load." Drink.

BS - Tennessee runs some "Wildcat" with a receiver lined up as QB - big gainer on the keeper. Hooray, modern football!

Your field goal kicking is bad and you should feel bad! A chunked field goal for the Vols, and LSU keeps the lead at 13-7. Watching Bo Pellini jump up and down to celebrate, you'd think he actually cared.

A wrathful football God strikes down. After the CBS broadcasters spent half an hour pontificating about how many hundred carries LSU's running backs have gone without a fumble, sure enough they gag it up on the next carry. Karma's a cruel mistress.

Ainge throws an outstanding pass on an out route and reclaims the lead. It's 14-13, Tennessee with 3 minutes in the 3rd. Fulmer does as much celebrating as is medically prudent for a guy his size.

IO-Ryan Perriloux passes to apparently no one at all, to be intecepted by Harry Caray, or possibly Eric Barry. If you said that ball was headed towards a Tiger, or made out of spare ribs, I'd punch you right in the face.

BS - Hooooly Cow!

Wooof... another missed field goal. This one was at least respectable, as it was a 51 yarder that just sailed right. Tennessee can't capitalize on the Harry Caray interception, but they're still clinging to a one point lead. Also, the plot thickens, as Perriloux has a gushing laceration on his right index finger. Tracy Wolfson gives us some graphic commentary on the horrifying amount of blood spurting from the QB's hand. Thanks, Tracy.

IO-Ok, I've finally has enough of this craziness. Dr. Pepper, you taste like NONE of those things! Stop with the lies! Please, just run an ad explaining what they hell you taste like, or at least an insight into the ratio of prune juice to deer's blood used in the secret formula.

BS - According to her Wikipedia page, sideline reporter Tracy Wolfson is a Michigan graduate. That explains why she's strangling Les Miles with her microphone cord as they come back from the commercial break.

I'm really really hoping that LSU's offensive line gets a holding call against Jarod Mayo. Seriously, I have this awesome "hold the Mayo" joke all lined up and ready to go.

During Tennessee's possession, the entire medical staff was working on Ryan Perriloux, who was being covered with towels and clipboards so nobody could see what they were doing to him. Well, as he comes out for this possession, the mystery has been solved. He has a gigantic arm-mounted plasma cannon attached to the right side of his body. This game could take a turn for the violent.

Freaky weapons or not, Perriloux is now 2-5 for 2 yards and has bled through three bandages. To make things worse, Early Doucet is now down with an injury. Tigers are dropping like flies.

LSU fakes a punt, and the punter completes a 15 yard pass for a first down. I think they've solved their quarterback problems!

Whooooa, nelly! Ainge throws a pick six and LSU tacks on a 2 point conversion to take a 21-14 lead. Ainge is 1 for his last 7 for two yards and an INT, and he doesn't even have the excuse of a massive, blood-gushing trauma to his throwing hand.

New idea for a nickname for LSU CB Jonathan Zenon: The Noble Gas. I really hope that catches on.

IO-6:25 left in the game, Ainge has got a definite case of the yips, slowly collapsing under the threat of an LSU pass rush like a flan in a cupboard. 4th and 4 driving into the hellmouth of the LSU fan section, and Fulmer decides to roll the dice. Ainge flings a radio ball for an incompletion.

BS - A huge gainer by Foster puts Tennessee in the red zone, but the next play Ainge stares down a receiver and has his pass picked off by a linebacker. 2:30 to go and it's preeeeety close to over. Tennessee has two timeouts left.

Aaaand it's over. Your 2007 SEC Champs are the LSU Tigers. Les Miles gives a pretty boring post-game interview... nothing too spicy. Well, that should do it. Say goodnight, IO...

IO - Goodnight, IO