Starting today, The Dugout will be updating seven days a week rather than five. That's 1.4 times the fun, 1.4 times the athletes irresponsibly slandered!

Today's Dugout, after the jump, doesn't really ask for much preface. I'd just like to say that with Johan Santana gone, the Twins will have to fill the gap in their rotation. Time to let Sidney Ponson out of his cage!

The Dugout

	JohanSolo: Okay, looks like I'm officially on the market. Begin.
	WinBenSteinsBrenner: I will offer you young players that may or may not end up being good, but my young players who have a better chance of being good are OFF LIMITS
	twins: no
	TheoElDio: I will offer you Coco Crisp.
	twins: no
	TheoElDio: Fine. Coco Crisp, a bowl, a spoon, a jug of milk, and several banana slices.
	twins: no
	JohanSolo: Guys, you're going to have to step it up. Not to brag, but I'm the most high-value pitcher in the game. You're going to have to give up a substantial amount for the Twins to hand me over.
	TheoElDio: you got it a 300,000 seat stadium with a retractable dome and the ability to dismount and slowly hover around like you can do in starcraft
	twins: that would be useful for when we ditch this god forsaken state for st. petersburg but no
	WinBenSteinsBrenner: the code you can type in to instantly get more money in simcity
	twins: no that will summon the godzilla
	TheoElDio: a series of steps made out of red blocks and a koopa troopa shell you can repeatedly kick against it to earn an infinite supply of coins and 1-ups
	JohanSolo: You people clearly aren't taking this seriously. Maybe I'll just stay in Minnesota.
	OnlineHost Delmon Young has been traded to the Twins!
	OnlineHost DudeYerGettinADelmon has entered the chatroom.
	DudeYerGettinADelmon: sup brah i'm a need ya duckets and ya dunkaroos
	DudeYerGettinADelmon: /duct-tapes pistol to baseball bat
	JohanSolo: gih!
	JohanSolo: Okay, here's the deal. The next team to make an offer and get me the hell out Minnesota wins.
	TreyHillMix: $346 in urine-stained ones and fives
	JohanSolo: Who are you?
	TreyHillMix: trey hillman, new manager of the kansas city royals
	JohanSolo: Uh... /looks over
	DudeYerGettinADelmon: /stuffs kerosene-soaked rag in pistol barrel im bout ta give ya ass a tampa bay hanshake
	JohanSolo: ummm
	TreyHillMix: i will also give you my house /wheels out Price Chopper grocery cart carrying partially assembled Fisher-Price tent
	JohanSolo: SOLD

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Hot on HuffPost:

The Dugout: The Johan Santana Bidding War

The Dugout

Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty Images

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