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The Dugout: You Complete a Transaction Involving the Exchange of Dontrelle Willis for Other Assets and You, by Proxy, Exchange Your Mental Faculties

Dec 5, 2007 – 12:03 AM
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Jon Bois

Jon Bois %BloggerTitle%

I think we've all known for a couple of years that the Marlins were going to get rid of Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis, but I wouldn't have guessed that they'd both leave in the same trade. Granted, the D-Train has not looked as sharp over the last couple of years, but he's stayed healthy and he still shows flashes of his earlier brilliance, which suggests to me that he could be built back up to "ace" status with proper coaching. And as Mr. Lackey pointed out, Cabrera fits into the statistical mold of some of the all-time greats. If I were the Marlins' GM, I'd only part with these two for rookies and minor leaguers if one of them were named Babe "Roy Hobbs" Aaron, Esq.

Anyway, today a long-running Dugout gag was realized. That doesn't happen very often. Today's installment is after the jump.

The Dugout

fLORIdA: No easy way to say this, so...you guys are being traded to Detroit.

MeTrain: snaps

CabreraNoIII: you trade the miguel cabrera and you trade ya schmiguel schmabrera

MeTrain: aw snap /monster bash

so who's goin to florida

fLORIdA: you are being traded for cameron what and andrew nobody

CabreraNoIII: You mean Cameron Maybin and Andrew Miller?

fLORIdA: yeah probably. all that matters is that they're under 21

CabreraNoIII: Why?

fLORIdA: well remember how i banned alcohol from the clubhouse

MeTrain: ah cause a what happened to m'man josh han**** right

MeTrain: what the

josh han****

MeTrain: josh han c o c k

aight we good

r.i.p. brah

fLORIdA: well yes, that was the ostensible reason but i've wanted to enact that rule for years because i am a giant fleshy enemy of fun and fellowship

fLORIdA: my approach toward keeping alcohol out of the clubhouse is two-pronged. first, i want to trade away everyone who is 21 or older

fLORIdA: second, i want to trade away proven talent for question marks to ensure that nobody ever pops a champagne cork in the marlins' clubhouse

fLORIdA: two birds, one stone, all that

CabreraNoIII: Well, wait. It looks like Andrew Miller is over 21.

fLORIdA: OH WHOOPS

**OnlineHost** Jeffrey Loria has traded Andrew Miller to the Royals for six frozen embryos

fLORIdA: whew

okay it's about time for you to take the train up to detroit, take it sleazy gents

CabreraNoIII: All right, later.

/hops onto Dontrelle Willis' back, mimes whistle-cord pull

WOO WOOO

MeTrain: chuggachuggachuggawhat

**OnlineHost** CabreraNoIII and MeTrain have left the chatroom.

**OnlineHost** Welcome to October 2009 Chat!

fLORIdA: congratulations fellas! we finished 9th in the nl east!

Sample569811-39: WOOOOO

Sample443862-06: BUST OUT THE SODA POP

fLORIdA: actually don't bother opening it. president romney has passed legislation that requires me to have you destroyed

Sample569811-39: aw drag

fLORIdA: luckily i have found a solution!

**OnlineHost** Jeffrey Loria has traded a team full of stem cells to the Pirates for a dirty thought in a young man's head.

fLORIdA: youth movement you guys

Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty Images
Filed under: Sports

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