The Mullet Comes To Newark: How Devils Fans Should Greet Barry Melrose

Just the other day, I was telling my father I wanted to call Newark Mayor Cory Booker's office to see if and when ESPN's Barry Melrose would make good on his apology and visit The Rock for a Devils game. Turns out I'm a day late and a delicious Cuban Sandwich from the Prudential Center's Havana Restaurant short: Tom Gulitti of The Record reports that Melrose is scheduled to be the guest of Booker and Devils owner Jeff Vanderbeek at tonight's game against the Washington Capitals.

In an ESPN.com video last month, Melrose said that the area around the new Newark arena is "awful," that "the inside and the outside where it's built is pretty humorous" and warned those who dare see a game to not "go outside if you have a wallet or anything else." When his comments were swiftly rebuked by the Devils and the city, Melrose cowered and apologized, embarrassingly admitting that he had never actually visited the arena before labeling it a crime-ridden Thunderdome of lawless thugs. Melrose told Gulitti that he's looking forward to gaining "first-hand knowledge" of the arena and its surrounding area tonight; he also said that Devils fans have been fairly kind to him after his commentary: "No one has been tough on me, so, hopefully, that will continue tomorrow."

It should be a decent crowd, as the Devils will celebrate Scott Stevens's induction into the Hall of Fame and the fact that he ended his career with his leadership unquestioned and his dedication to his teammates respected (unlike some other former Devils defensemen named Scott). But Devils fans, at The Rock, welcoming The Mullet with open arms? Ask a Rangers fan how hospitable NJD fans can be -- even when the Rangers aren't playing them. No, battle plans are being drawn ... and I even have one of my own.

John Fischer of In Lou We Trust has some suggestions for Devils fan chants this evening in honor of Melrose's visit. A few of the highlights:

"WASH YOUR HAIR" (repeat) - Obvious.

Booing every time Melrose is on the big screen (which I expect) and everytime Viktor Kozlov has the puck (which I also expect, Kozlov was horrible in New Jersey).

Nothing - Well, ESPN ignores hockey, so perhaps we should ignore Melrose?

Spelling out "E-S-P-N S-U-C-K-S" - Well, they do. Because of the ignoring hockey thing. And whole lot of other reasons.

Clever, if a little less vulgar than I'd expect from Devils fans in the cheap seats. But a protest doesn't have to be vulgar to be effective. Which brings us to what I might do if I were at The Rock for Barry Melrose Social Re-Education Night:

STEP 1: Buy yourself a cheap black wallet.
STEP 2: Buy yourself a pen with white ink.
STEP 3: Draw the biggest, clearest "B M" or "ESPN" you can on the front of it. Big enough so a television camera can see it.
STEP 4: When the Devils score their first goal, toss that bad boy on the ice like it was a rubber rat or an octopus. A few thousand of them in the neutral zone, and Barry will get the point. (And if you don't think the Devils will score -- I like a team on an eight-game winning streak against an opponent with a 2.87 GAA.)

Again, this is something I might do if I were at the game tonight, and I might only do it after the first goal. As a respected professional in the hockey blogging world, I could never officially condone such behavior ... unless saying that it would make for a hilarious YouTube video counts as a tacit endorsement.

Speaking YouTube, I really can't think of any better way to end this post than with a video tribute to the late Wesley Willis's "Cut the Mullet":