lol look at him go

I know he was kidding, but when the commissioner of Major League Baseball says he's going to jack his wife for interrupting him you've got to say SOMETHING. I wasn't sure what to say, so presented in today's Dugout are three conflicting stories regarding what happened when Bud went home and delivered on his promise. I consider all three stories canon, so in the future please remember that Bud Selig has three wives and a retired, African-American mentor.

Bud gets kicked in the crotch, no-sells it, and pimpslaps The Dugout after the jump.

The Dugout

	bud_is_wiser: I'm grateful, I I told them this morning, at least in my world, there's no higher there's no-
	Online Host bud_is_wiser's cell phone is ringing.
	bud_is_wiser: oh I get find for uh I get find for uh I get fined for my cell phone going off /checks phone
	bud_is_wiser: It's only my wife, I'll punch her out.
	Online Host Later that night...
	bud_is_wiser: HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU, I GET FINED I GET FINED FINED I GET FINED FOR HAVING FOR HAVING MY CELL PHONE GO OFF
	buds_wifer: I'm sorry, honey, I just wanted to tell you about the steroids!
	bud_is_wiser: The steroids? What happened to the steroids!
	buds_wifer: Now calm down, Bud, you're getting upset...
	bud_is_wiser: What happened to the steroids! Tell me I will palm strike you in the mouth! I am not kidding, I will get a running start and busaiku knee you into oblivion if something has happened with the steroids!
	buds_wifer: Oh, Bud! I took them! I took the steroids!
	bud_is_wiser: You took the! You... oh. /stands silently Oh I didn't know when you said "steroids" you meant you'd taken them... I mean, heh, what am I supposed to do about that, I mean I can't really do anything about that at all, heh;
	bud_is_wiser: Jesus Suzanne you had me worried there for a second.
	Online Host Earlier that day...
	bud_is_wiser: I'm grateful, I I told them this morning, at least in my world, there's no higher there's no-
	Online Host bud_is_wiser's cell phone is ringing.
	bud_is_wiser: oh I get find for uh I get find for uh I get fined for my cell phone going off /checks phone
	bud_is_wiser: It's only my wife, I'll punch her out.
	Online Host Later that night...
	bud_is_wiser: HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU, I GET FINED I GET FINED FINED I GET FINED FOR HAVING FOR HAVING MY CELL PHONE GO OFF
	LadyWife: I'm sorry, it'll never happen again, I swear! BUD NO
	Online Host bud_is_wiser is punching the hell out of a wife.
	Online Host Earlier that day...
	bud_is_wiser: I'm grateful, I I told them this morning, at least in my world, there's no higher there's no-
	Online Host bud_is_wiser's cell phone is ringing.
	bud_is_wiser: oh I get find for uh I get find for uh I get fined for my cell phone going off /checks phone
	bud_is_wiser: It's only my wife, I'll punch her out.
	Online Host Later that night...
	bud_is_wiser: HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU, I GET FINED I GET FINED FINED I GET FINED FOR HAVING FOR HAVING MY CELL PHONE GO OFF
	balds_wiser: /bounces backwards quickly, crouches /bounces forward suddenly! /goes for uppercut
	bud_is_wiser: /punches wife in stomach
	balds_wiser: /collapses
	bud_is_wiser: Help! Doc!!!
	PapaDoc: Join the Nintendo fun club today! Bud.

Hot on HuffPost:

The Dugout: Bud Selig's Punch Out

The Dugout

Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty Images

Hot Leads

ON FACEBOOK

News From Our Partners

Also on AOL >>>

Depp's Dames

Alicia's Evolution

Lip-Sync Fun

They Hooked You

Hot on HuffPost:

The Dugout: Bud Selig's Punch Out

The Dugout

Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty Images

Hot Leads

HuffPost AOL Social News Most Popular

ON FACEBOOK

News From Our Partners

Also on AOL >>>

Depp's Dames

Alicia's Evolution

Lip-Sync Fun

They Hooked You