pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /runs on treadmill, cranks ipod

oh how she rocks
in keds and tube socks

but she doesn't knowwww who i aaaam

MexPower: excuse me son, what're you doing there?

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /removes earpods

listenen to some wheatus an gunnen my lats with robotic intensity dirtbag what are you doen, putten emment smith in black face so his beard dont make him look old

MexPower: I see you are familiar with my great masterworks! Say, I wanted to talk to you about -- /looks around

There aren't any women in this dugout, are there?

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: this is the yankee dugout

how many women were you expecten

MexPower: and you don't have any knives lying around, do you?

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no but we used to have wil nieves

MexPower: Good. I wanted to talk to you about your workout.

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: 20,000 hindu squats an then i do the plank until i pass out; upon waken up i shoot bullets with my lats on yonder treadmille whilst usen powerful musicks to imagine dirty teens who come together through a mutual love of ironed maiden

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: hey werent you on that show about the jew folk what cant get along with nobody

what was that show callt

MexPower: I think I disagree with all the workouts that you guys do. I think that the workout programs have made you better players than you are. If we had done the same thing back in my day, I think I would have had better numbers.

MexPower: in the course of a season, I think you guys do too much. I think it's a long year and a guy like Jose Reyes, who plays hard and plays everyday and steals bases, you cannot leave it in the trainer's room. You cannot leave it in the weight room.

MexPower: I think it should be scaled back. I think it's a big mistake they are making. You're 24 years old, you shouldn't get tired. But I think you all just do too much working out. This is not a criticism of Jose, or of you.

MexPower: It is a criticism of your work regimen. You can do all that stuff in the off-season and work hard all they want to get yourself bigger and stronger. But, when the season starts, you have got to have some gas in the tank when it comes August, September.

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: that show was callt barney miller

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: wait what, are you still talken

MexPower: What? You don't think it's a good point I'm making?

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no it snot a good point yer maken you pig cock its a terrible point, i bet you think john kruk is the best player ever well let the hick from french lick kyle farnsworth let you in on a lil secret i have a whole nother testicle more than john kruk

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: you hear that

i have three testicles an i am 4/3rd the man he is

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i like to keep my body in perfect shape for my health because i am young and rich and enjoy the company of women, plus worken out is fun and is more constructive than doen drugs or playen pee knuckle or bitchen all the time

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: for you infotainment i am a 31 year old growned ass man an frankling i would like to not look like a robert goolay plush when i am 50 years old

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i get pate six million dollars a year an my job is to come in one time every like six weeks to throw a baseball up to nine times

what am i spost to do, write a tell all of it book

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: "when i was but a lad growen up in witcherta i got my bike stoled by a black and thats when i realized evil lurks in the hearts of men. later i saw alex rodriguez and derek jeter holden hands and i wondert, perhaps!"

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: as i age i am learnen there is nothen more obnoxious than a old baseball man

yall need to stop pretenden like anybody gives a great god damn what you say when you arnt holden a bat
you arnt even as importent as my granma

an she calls me 'jeff' evry time she sees me

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: do me a favor

let me enjoy my hobby and profession an you go back onto the simefeld show an be a dumshit

MexPower: uh

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: now if youll excuse a brother i have to find out what happens to the teen aged dirtbag kids on their prom night /puts in earplugs

MexPower: well hey, maybe I can hop on the treadmill next to you! heh; my physique isn't what it used to be! Maybe we can be friends!

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /smashes neighboring treadmill with hammer blow

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no play for mr. gay