Jose Canseco is an ass. Not that being put in Dugouts is anything he'd care about, I still don't like covering him. He's an old, washed up shell of a man who needs to make headlines in order to survive. Luckily for us groundbreaking media outlets, this time he looks like a total ass. Not only will his words taint (lol) his entire image, but will also taint (lol) the credibility of anything he has or ever will say. Nice shorts.

The question remains, "Has Magglio Ordonez done steroids?" The answer is "Jose Canseco has no freaking clue."

Jose Canseco makes his blackmail plea after the jump.

The Dugout

	Online Host Welcome to Excellent Deal Chat!
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: wait what chat?
	YESWayJose: I've got a deal for you!
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: damnit. are you selling timeshare or something?
	YESWayJose: Hear me out man. This is the business opportunity of a lifetime.
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: listen i'm really not interested in skiing in aspen or riding a dune buggy around in the sierra. my family is deathly afraid of high speeds.
	YESWayJose: This is way better than whatever a timeshare is. I'm making movie.
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: a movie.
	YESWayJose: Yeah it's going to be great. I'm going to play a ninja who's captured and kept in a cave.
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: a ninja. you're serious.
	YESWayJose: I then have to fight 8 or 10 bad ninjas to regain my freedom.
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: then what.
	YESWayJose: I dunno. Drugs or something. By that point the audience will be so freaked out they won't care what else happens.
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: you're serious.
	YESWayJose: /assumes ninja position /"get some" Morpheus gesture
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: and i am involved how?
	YESWayJose: You stand to make quite a bit of coin by investing in Steroid Ninja III.
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: no no no i'm not touching this with a performance enhanced pole. find someone else.
	YESWayJose: See, that's the thing. You really don't have a choice.
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: ... are you going to kill me?
	YESWayJose: No. Worse.
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: you're not going to try to seduce me are you?
	YESWayJose: I'm going to blackmail you! How fun!
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: blackmail... wait for what?
	YESWayJose: Doing steroids. I'll say that you did steroids in my next book if you don't invest in the film.
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: hold on jagoff there are a few gaps in your plan. a.) i've never done steroids and b.) no one is going to publish another crappy book by a washed up hobo idiot
	YESWayJose: But I'm blackmailing you! You have to!
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: like anyone believes the sewage you belch out at random intervals anyway. i'm calling my lawyer. expect to look like an ass real soon.
	Online Host OhComeLetUsOrdonez has left the chat
	YESWayJose: Maybe he's right. I should probably
	YESWayJose: ... Nahhhh /does steroids

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The Dugout: Jose Canseco Is an Ass

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