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This week, Major League Baseball decided to step up background checks for umpires. The union representing the umpires, the World Umpire Association (famous for such great matches as Kerry Von Erich vs. Umpires), has complied with the checks. But then!The Biz of Baseball reported that the WUA issued a press release concerning questions being asked during the league's investigations. Among the standard questions to the neighbors (what do you think of barry bonds, how many years of prison should barry bonds get, et al.) was this: do you know if the umpire is a member of the Ku Klux Klan?
hahaha whaaaat
The Dugout asks the serious questions about the Neo Nazi skinheads at Citizens Bank Park, after the jump.
The Dugout
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Klansmen: /march in place chant |
| **Online Host** As the chanting continues, two Klansmen lead a black man, whom they grasp by either arm, up the aisle toward the gibbet. |
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Flash_Aaaaah: I ain't never harmed any you gentlemen! |
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ColeHamLuke: It's Tommy! They got Tommy! |
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DurbanCowboy: Oh my God! |
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Flash_Aaaaah: I ain't never harmed nobody! |
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DurbanChampion: /stares at makeshift gibbet The noose! Sweet Jesus! We gotta save 'im! |
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ColeHamLuke: /hisses, points The Phillie guard! |
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**Online Host** |
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ImperialUmpire: Brothers! We are foregathered here to preserve our hallowed culture'n heritage! From intrusions, inclusions and dilutions! Of culluh! Of creed! Of our ol'-time religion! |
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ColeHamLuke: /adjusts appropriated robes |
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ImperialUmpire: We aim to pull evil up by the root! Before it chokes out the flower of our culture'n heritage! And our women! Let's not forget those ladies, y'all, lookin' to us for p'tection! |
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ImperialUmpire: From darkies! From Jews! From the Pittsburgh Pirates! And from all those smart-ass folk say we come descended from the monkeys! That's not my culture'n heritage! |
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Klansmen: /roar |
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ImperialUmpire: Izzat your culture'n heritage? |
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Klansmen: NO!!! |
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ImperialUmpire: And so... we gonna hang us a Phillie! |
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Klansmen: /huge roar chant |
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**Online Host** |
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ColeHamLuke: Hey Tommy, it's us! Hey Tommy! |
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Flash_Aaaaah: /looks back over shoulder ...huh? |
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ColeHamLuke: It's us! We come to rescue ya! |
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Flash_Aaaaah: That's mighty kind of ya boys, but I don't think nothin's gonna save me now - the devil's come to collect his due! |
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DurbanChampion: Tommy, you don't wanna get hanged! |
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Flash_Aaaaah: Naw I don't guess I do, but that's the way it seems to be workin' out. |
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ColeHamLuke: Listen to me, Tommy, I got a plan- |
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BigDanIassogna: /pulls off Cole Hamels' hood |
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Klansmen: *gasp* |
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BigDanIassogna: /pulls off Chad Durbin's and J.D. Durbin's hoods |
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Klansmen: *GASP* |
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Klansmen: The Phillie guard is Phillies! |
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BigDanIassogna: RARRRGGHH |
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Klansmen: ROARRR |
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ColeHamLuke: Run, boys! |
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