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Every week, or as often as I remember, I'll provide you with my poorly thought-out predictions on whose stock is on the rise and whose you should avoid like Enron. It's Buys and Sells. A few teams/players/issues to buy and a few to sell. It's simple stuff, folks. That is, if you could actually buy and sell things like these. Oh, whatever. Never mind. ... And we're back! If I had a dollar for every time I actually remembered to post a weekly feature other than the Ice Sheet, I would have about a dollar right now. This is really, really rare. Let's get to the show. This week, it's a no holds barred, adrenaline packed thrill ride edition of Buys and Sells!! To the extreme!!!
Buy: George Parros' mustache has destructive capabilities. After seeing the fight of the week in which Parros destroyed Philadelphia's Riley Cote, I think we can all agree that it was the mustache that did Cote in. Obviously. So this week, I'm buying the ability of Parros and/or his mustache to destroy another human being in the coming weeks. Let's be clear on one thing, though -- I buying that it will catch on as a fashion trend. Creepy mustaches aren't likely to make a comeback any time soon.
Hard sell: Washington setting their first line on fire as a marketing gimmick. The title of Eric McErlain's post about Eric Fehr got me thinking about potentially the greatest marketing gimmick of all time. It would be the gutsiest, too. What if the Capitals actually set their first line on fire? The sheer spectacle! Now that's extreme hockey, and a reason to finally make use of the overused slogan "fire on ice".
Sell: North Dakota coach Dave Hakstol's ability to be sufficiently intense. Dave Hakstol had a chance to express his displeasure with the refereeing in an intense and entertaining way the other day. But instead of following in the footsteps of Bob Knight, Herman Edwards or even Mike Gundy, who all have had classic press conferences, Hakstol took the low and boring road of flipping off the ref. For shame! To think all that displeasure wasted when it could have been saved up to create an epic press conference!
Sell: George Laraque actually, physically, laying the smack down on the entire NHL front office. Laraque didn't agree with the NHL's planned trip to Europe next season (which, sadly, isn't likely to spawn a hilarious teen movie), and I believe that the chances are slim he's going to do anything about it. As Greg Wyshynski pointed out, he's a bit of a flip flopper and despite delivering tough, physical beatings on the ice, I can't see Laraque following up his words with some tough, physical beatings off of it. Gary Bettman and company are safe, because let's face it, this whole post is just completely ridiculous.
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