2008 All-Star Live Blog: Shooting Stars

The gang's all here to execute the rare and daunting group live blog. Things will kick off at 8:00 p.m. Eastern with the Shooting Stars competition, in which old men and young women attempt to make half-court shots.

Check back a few minutes after 8, then stay with us all night as we crack as many jokes as possible while watching the Three-point Shoot-out, the Skills Challenge and the all-important Dunk Contest.

Ziller: Daniel Gibson should get beat up for taking 20 threes.

Edwards: Not in the Rookie Game, that thing is horrible...

Keenan: The Rookie Game is a game of dunks and elbow passes.

Edwards: They need to do East/West instead of Rooks/Sophs... Sophs always roll.

Dr. LIC: That would be illll, east/west.

Gossip: (Link.)

Edwards: Ha ha, exactly.
Gossip: Dwight Howard did not sound hecka thrilled to be doing that intro.

Keenan: Dwight got the name of the band wrong, if anyone cares.

Dr. LIC: Why has the NBA not learned who its freaking demographic is?

Edwards: So true...didn't they have Big and Rich one year? Please.

Dr. LIC: I mean, if you want to do New Orleans, bring in the Neville Brothers. If you're gonna do white New Orleans, at least go Harry Connick, Jr. Or Dr. John.

Dr. LIC: Let's see some shots of the players grooving.

Edwards: Yeah, I totally wanna see Kapono get down.

Dr. LIC: Haha. FanHouse DEMANDS HARRY CONNICK!

Keenan: Maybe we'll finally get to see Harry Connick Sr.

Dr. LIC: Cappie Pondexter is the name of a Dick Tracy villain.

Keenan: Hahahaha.

Watson: I don't think anyone cares, but I'm pretty sure Swin and Laimbeer hate each other.

Dr. LIC: I care, that's hilarious.

Edwards: I got the Pistons to repeat, by the way.

Keenan: Is Majerle the Suns guy? I will take them if he is. I've actually watched a WNBA game and Pondexter is good.

Gossip: Majerle is the Suns guy.

Brinson: Dirty Dozen!!! They hung out at my house one time.

Edwards: The Spurs roster is retarded, like Duncan or Robinson can hit a half court shot?

Brinson: Has Amare really attempted 20 threes this year?

Gossip: Yes. He hit a late fourth game winner I think.

Dr. LIC: I've heard multiple analysts say that Amare's knee injury was a "blessing" because it's forced him to work on his outside shot. B.S.

Randy Kim: That was big part of Shaq trade, right? Letting Amare go outside more.

Brinson: Half court shot = "key". Reggie = "good".

Dr. LIC: Chicago needs to win SOMETHING this year!

Edwards: Again, it's sick how quickly someone hits the half-courter.

Brinson: Amare > Eddie

Dr. LIC: Analysis = "often it's the WNBA player who hits the halfcourt shot."

Brinson: I wish they would do a State Farm ad where LeBron gets caught doing 50 over and then laughs it off. Oh. That was real life. Nevermind.

(David Robinson hits half-court shot on first try.)

Edwards: Holy !!! I stand corrected.

Ziller: The Admiral!

Keenan: He had to make up for his awful performance on the short one.

Edwards: Yeah but who knew that he could?

Brinson: OHMY Lambier! That was the worst half courter I've ever seen.

Gossip: This is terrible. They should change this to just a 60-second contest to see how many half court shots you can make.

Edwards: I'd watch that... but then again, I'm watching this too.

Dr. LIC: Why is Damon Jones always around?!!

Randy: Chris Paul hit four half-courters in a minute today.

Watson: So they just randomly decided to add that as a record today? By the way, those aren't half-court shots.

Brinson: Timmmmmmy!

Edwards: I hate the Spurs. Even the female and old ones.

Brinson: This is awkward if Chicago loses this.

Keenan: The Spurs win everything!

Watson: I wonder if armstrong is going to parlay his performance tonight into a comeback attempt like Pippen did last year.

Dr. LIC: B.J. should coach the Bulls.

Edwards: Did Reggie just say "John Naismith" is rolling in his grave, or did I mishear?

Brinson: No, he did.

Edwards: More stellar analysis, then.

Keenan: This contest was already set back 100 years.

Edwards: I guess they just decided to ignore it instead of embarrass him.

(New thread for the Skills Challenge.)