UVA's Mike Brown Not To Be Trusted On eBay

"I know I be strapped with a double 4-4 and a slim jim to open your Cadillac door."- Redman, "One Shot Deal"

I don't think I need to go in any further about what they say about idle hands. I mean, the crap I get myself in when I'm bored is bad enough, and right now, I'm doing what I do most of the day in my various pursuits, namely, sit at a desk and look at a computer while dem dollas roll in. Suppose you're someone like Mike Brown, however. Though he's served as a cornerback and punt returner for Virginia over the past couple of seasons, his main gig was special teams gunner, meaning that his scholarship essentially is based on him trying to kill someone's head off for what amounts to about a few minutes per year.

I'm not sure how I'd handle my downtime if the aforementioned was my job description, but hopefully, I'd be able to handle it better than Brown has. In the latest addition to Virginia's Super Fun Happy Offseason, Brown was arrested by campus police and charged with grand larceny, possession of stolen property, intent to sell, altering serial numbers, and as an added bonus, marijuana possession. According to the Daily Progress, you're doin' a hell of a job, Brownie:

The charges stem from a Feb. 6 incident in which a music mixer, mixer box, camcorder and microphone were stolen from a car owned by UVa student Brendan Downey in the Central Grounds Parking Garage, according to a search warrant filed on Feb. 19. The stolen items were worth more than $3,400. On Feb. 9, Downey saw three of the items stolen from his car listed on eBay, according to the search warrant. The seller's eBay identifier was tied to Brown's roommate, a former member of the UVa football team. Downey notified police and also arranged to purchase the mixer, using Paypal. The mixer was not delivered. Downey left negative feedback for the seller on eBay.

I'm not gonna diss you on the internet? Screw that- burn!!1! Though my familiarity with the recorded output of Reggie Noble would have me believe that Brown has done his hometown well, this is just another reason why you should stay having a morally unscrupulous friend who works at Best Buy.