The Cubs Will Destroy Your Car

It's been a pretty great spring for pranks this season, with my personal favorite being the Phillies somehow convincing Kyle Kendrick he'd actually been traded to Japan. This week it was the Chicago Cubs getting in on the act, as they played a cruel trick on their strength coach, Tim Buss.

When the Cubs began practice in the morning, Aramis Ramirez pointed to a wrecked '95 Nissan Sentra near the Cubs bullpen and asked: "Hey 'Bussy,' what's your car doing on the ramp?"

Buss looked over at the wreck and replied: "That's not my car."

But then Buss did a double take.

"Dude," he said to Ramirez. "That's my car!"

Buss soon discovered his car was demolished beyond recognition, but this was no ordinary crime. The car windows all had been smashed in, the front, back and sides all were severely dented and the smoking guns-a couple of baseball bats and balls-were strategically placed in the windshield.

Jon Lieber, Kerry Wood, and Ryan Dempster then continued playing dumb even as Buss figured out that it was the pitchers who had destroyed his car. What upset Buss the most about it? It wasn't even his car. It was his wife's. So not only was he out a car, but he wasn't going to be getting any love at home either.

The Cubs then finished their workout and left Buss twisting in the wind before Lieber told him to "quit pouting" and follow him to the weight room. Once they got there, Buss saw the new $25,000 Nissan Xterra the players had bought for him.

Then as Buss thanked them and admired his new car, they destroyed that one too. Okay, no they didn't, but they should have. That would have been hilarious.