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Hahaha, nice package, Jose.When Jim Thome finally retires, The Dugout (if we're still doing it by then, hopefully getting paid 20 grand a Dugout by Time Magazine) will surely give him an emotionally poignant farewell. When Kyle Farnsworth is sent down to the minors in a couple of years for being bad at baseball we will follow him down and eventually to his grave, but he will get what he deserves from us for being so damned entertaining.
It's those secondary characters that worry me. Like, what am I supposed to do when Brandon Duckworth retires? I got my first taste of that this week when Jose Lima was unceremoniously dropped by the Kia Tigers after winning no games, giving up 280 home runs, and accidentally flooding entire sections of South Korea by goofing off when he was supposed to be watching the damn.
How do you celebrate the loss of a legend? By throwing him into a movie about Korea, because honestly, does he deserve more? Jose Lima says goodbye (and probably "bap") after the jump.
The Dugout
| **Online Host** Welcome to the final minutes of the 2008 Korean World Series Chatroom! |
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OneFineDae: /hobbles over |
| **Online Host** Wait a minute, what is this? Dae Han is making a gesture toward the losing team! |
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OneFineDae: /begins to cry |
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LimaBeans: /repeatedly mutters "bap" under breath |
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OneFineDae: to... save a life ... in defeat... is to earn honor and... victory within.... |
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OneFineDae: your brother too was... a great pitcher... |
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LimaBeans: /drops ice cream cone |
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OneFineDae: and I offer... myseof.... as your .. .brother... |
| **Online Host** Hooray! |
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LimaBeans: ES LIMA TIME EN KOREA BABY AY A HOOOOOOO |
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OneFineDae: /places World Series gold medal around Lima's neck |
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LimaBeans: /attempts to hug Dae Han /misses by several feet |
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LimaBeans: /hands gold medal to son in crowd /collapses off the side of the platform |
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OneFineDae: uh |
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LimaBeans: /stumbles into torch, sets self on fire |
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OneFineDae: /raises eyepatch |
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LimaBeans: BAP BAP BAP BAP BAP AAAAAH /spirals, faceplants |
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LimaBeans: uarghh /shakes head coach help me give me good advice for a being the pitcher |
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CoachCouzo: I'll say this... ONLY ONCE~! |
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CoachCouzo: a TEEEEEAM.... is not a TEEEEAM.... if we keep paying you to play baseball professionally. Please leave Korea and, if possible, the Earth immediately and for the duration of ever. |
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LimaBeans: but bap bap bap |
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CoachCouzo: Today will be a day long remembered. It has seen the death of Lima,, and will soon see the end of the Rebellion. |
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