Frank Thomas and Barry Bonds are looking for a home. Will you be the one to provide for them in this time of need? Your support brings food and shelter to men like Frank and Barry for only pennies a day. For only a billion pennies, every day. After the jump, no Anton Chigurh parodies, if you can believe it.
The Dugout
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TheBigInjured: and I was all, "I want to play," and they were all "well you're off to a slow start so you aren't gonna play," and I was all, "but I always get off to a slow start" |
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TheBigInjured: so I said "I'm trying to tell you you can kiss my black ass but I'm getting off to a slow start," and then we mutually agreed that I was fired. |
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GoldBonds: damn, thats cole |
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TheBigInjured: Yeah, but I hated Canada anyway, the beer is overrated and I've got no idea what the hell a "saku koivu" is, so |
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GoldBonds: i think its like a bag of japanese fish |
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GoldBonds: its aight brother, today's job market is overflowin for middle-aged broken down african american gentlemen like ourselves |
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TheBigInjured: we could always go to Oakland. |
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GoldBonds: how far away is oakland |
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TheBigInjured: Oakland? Oakland is right across the bay from San Francisco. You've hit homeruns into Oakland before. I think you can see it from your house. |
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GoldBonds: spacial relation has nothing to do with barry bonds barry bonds dont even use a map, he just start walking confidently in to the left an ends up where he's spost to go |
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TheBigInjured: I used to play in Oakland, I think you'll like it. They're... how should I put it... very accomidating to "our people." |
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GoldBonds: you mean black folk |
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TheBigInjured: No, I mean "guys who look like they're trying to do the Unbeatable Banzuke when they round the bases." |
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TheBigInjured: hold on, I'll send Lew Wolff an invite. |
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GoldBonds: aint that the guy from star fox |
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TheBigInjured: no, he's the co-owner of the Oakland Athletics. |
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GoldBonds: yeah well barry bonds good friend tell him to do a barrel roll an up come this fancy feline to break it up rest assured that next time our paths cross barry bonds is gonna bust him up with a land masta |
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TheBigInjured: what the frank are you talking about, dude |
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GoldBonds: sorry, it's been pretty boring and lonely at home |
| **Online Host** Oakami has entered the chatroom. |
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TheBigInjured: Mr. Wolff! Welcome to the chatroom! |
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GoldBonds: sup jew wolf |
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Oakami: Frank, you wanted to see me? |
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TheBigInjured: Mr. Wolff, I've just been wished well in my future endeavors by the Toronto Blue Jays so I was hoping I could come back and play for you and the Athletics! |
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TheBigInjured: As an added bonus, I'd be bringing with me Home Run King Barry Bonds! |
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Oakami: **eyes light up** Why...why that's the best news I've ever heard! I was looking for two more starting outfielders and you'd both be so perfect! |
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TheBigInjured: Oh, well sir, I'm not sure we'd be a great fit in the outfield, you see, I'm a career first baseman/DH and we've both had some health problems relating to our age, so... |
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GoldBonds: i want to play "bench man" position starting bench man of course |
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Oakami: No no no, it'll be perfect, you'll be the cornerstones of my New Look Outfield, alongside our newest aquisition... |
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EvansFarmsBeets: hey guys |
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TheBigInjured: Dwight Evans? |
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GoldBonds: damn dwight evans what happen to you, you straight up look like hey yo miyazaki |
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EvansFarmsBeets: Oh, it's nothing big, it's just that I'm super old. But, heh, I can't turn down a dollar! |
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TheBigInjured: hahaha, I know, we are all so old |
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GoldBonds: did somebody say a dollar |
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