Ronaldo Forgets to Check for Adam's Apples

It's been a thoroughly rotten season for A.C. Milan striker Ronaldo. After years of overeating following his successful 2002 World Cup stint with Brazil, the 31-year-old blew out his left knee, leaving his career in jeopardy.

In times like these, a man seeks comfort. Unfortunately, it seems Ronaldo went looking for love in all the wrong places.

Soccer star Ronaldo was questioned by police early Monday after a run-in with Brazilian transvestites in a Rio de Janeiro motel.

Ronaldo accused one of the transvestites of trying to extort him, police inspector Carlos Augusto Nogueira said Monday night. Nogueira said the altercation began when Ronaldo found out he was dealing with transvestites instead of women. The inspector said Ronaldo admitted he knew they were prostitutes when they met earlier Sunday night but did not realize they were transvestites until they got to the motel.

Really? Is inspecting the merchandise before purchase discouraged in Brazil? Weren't those adam's apples enough of a giveaway? Or was our favorite pie-eater just a little loopy after a bad batch of painkillers for his knee? These are the important questions, people. Six years from now, the World Cup will be in Brazil, where prostitution is legal, and out-of-towners need these helpful hints.

We should start a pool to see how many more stories about hookers and footballers named "Ronaldo" we'll get this year. I have dibs on 3.

(H/T: The Offside)