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What a terrible time to be a relief pitcher. We're only a month and a half into the season and already people are being pulled out of position for poor performance, scolded for showing emotion, and blamed for managerial jobs being put on the line. The worst examples of this have been St. Louis's Jason Isringhausen and Milwaukee's Eric Gagné.In today's Dugout, we discuss the many reasons how and why St. Louis's Jason Isringhausen and Milwaukee's Eric Gagné are the worst examples. Oh boy, are they a couple of bad examples.
(Oh yeah, and if you don't get Izzy's screen name, say his last name out loud slowly.)
More, after the jump.
The Dugout
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**Online Host** |
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SmokeSomeGagne: man, I used to be the best there ever was. /drowns sorrows |
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SmokeSomeGagne: 84 saves in a row. I went an entire season without blowing a save. 161 for 168. I'd set 'em up with the fastball and strike 'em out with the vulcan change-up. |
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SmokeSomeGagne: Now I just vulcan suck. |
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JewelryStore: I know how you feel, brother. In 2004 I had 47 saves. 47 SAVES! |
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JewelryStore: and then last week a lady asked me to get her cat out of a tree, and when I climbed up there the cat exploded and the lady's house burned down /downs fuzzy navel |
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SmokeSomeGagne: I've got an excuse, though. See, I had TWO Tommy John surgeries. My elbow is just chicken wire wrapped around chopped up newspaper and squid parts. |
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JewelryStore: pfft, whatever I had two hip surgeries in two years and I'm only 35 years old. When I'm 60 the medicare people are gonna have to scrape me off the bathroom floor with a piece of cardboard. |
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SmokeSomeGagne: I'm getting ten million dollars this year to do nothing but blow saves and look like Roy from The Office. |
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JewelryStore: well I'm getting eight million dollars to lose two out ninth innings and then pump my fists like I did something awesome. |
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JewelryStore: Seriously, I'm so bad I got demoted from closer. |
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SmokeSomeGagne: I'm so bad, I had to demote MYSELF from closer because my manager was afraid he'd hurt my feelings. |
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JewelryStore: I'm so bad I watched tape of myself pitching, swatted at the television, and injured myself. Who am I, Kyle Farnsworth? |
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SmokeSomeGagne: nope, Kyle Farnsworth has a 3.00 era this season |
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JewelryStore: my WHIP is so high that Devo refuses to sing about it |
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SmokeSomeGagne: my WHIP is a letter a letter that isn't even in the alphabet |
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JewelryStore: I don't even know what WHIP is. I don't even know what a baseball is. By now I'm just scooping up dirt and throwing it at the hitter. |
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SmokeSomeGagne: I tried to scoop up dirt the other day but missed the Earth six times in a row before they brought in somebody else to scoop it for me |
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JewelryStore: I blow so hard that if a balloon touches my lips it instantly explodes |
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SmokeSomeGagne: I blow so hard that Lindsay Lohan carries me around in her nostril |
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JewelryStore: I'm so bad at saving, Zack Slater and Screech were forced to complete the teacher's popped test |
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SmokeSomeGagne: I'm so bad at saving, I tried to use a coupon and it made my groceries more expensive. |
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JewelryStore: I went into a Save-A-Lot yesterday and found I could Force Push people |
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SmokeSomeGagne: I tried to put a dollar into my savings account and somebody came out of the bank and tried to shoot me with a gun |
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JewelryStore: Look, I'm sick of you trying to one-up me! I'm worse! |
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SmokeSomeGagne: No, I'm worse! |
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JewelryStore: THAT'S IT /scoots out bar stool |
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SmokeSomeGagne: /tries to throw punch /knocks glass off of bar |
| **Online Host** SoriaBoutMyMonobrow has caught the glass before it hit the ground. |
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SoriaBoutMyMonobrow: here you go, you should be more careful |
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JewelryStore: hey thanks for saving that, man |
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SoriaBoutMyMonobrow: no prob hey, were you two aware that you are both f*cking terrible? |
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SmokeSomeGagne: yeah we were just discussing that |
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