Baseball is America's pastime, but had our forefathers enjoyed the modern conveniences of clocks, ball pumps, or haste, this pastime may well have been basketball or football. Instead, they had wood, leather, and a rudderless disposition. Baseball is Boring is a series of live blogs for folks who need irony and self-awareness to get through a game.
From the Wikipedia article for "beard" - "A beard is the hair that grows on a human's chin, cheeks, neck, and the area above the upper lip (the opposite is a clean-shaven face). Typically, only post-pubescent males are able to grow beards. When differentiating between upper and lower facial hair, a beard specifically refers to the facial hair on the lower part of a man's chin."
The question here is, "how much lower part of a man's chin can one man have?" Peralta might as well cut his chest hair into a straight line and pretend it's his jawline. Sorry Jhonny, I want to look like Brad Pitt as much as the next guy, but when your head is shaped like a ripe melon a thin line of scruff isn't going to differentiate your neck fat from your head fat.
THE ESSENTIALS
The Indians (25-29) start C.C. Sabathia (3-6, 4.74 ERA)
The Royals (21-34) start Kyle Davies (0-0, 0.00 ERA)
ANALYSIS
If I learned nothing else from southern Virginia high school history class it's that Indians are a Fighting Type. They generally have a high attack, and are notable for being the only type that can inflict super-effective damage on Normal-Type Pokémon. I'm struggling to see the Royals as anything other than a "normal type." Cleveland's attack started off low but has gained a level or two in the past week, while Kansas City has lost 161 of their last 162 games and can have super-effective damage inflicted on them by pretty much anybody. If Cleveland brings any Pokémon whatsoever they should win this game. Let's just hope they can get out of the damn balls.
PREDICTION
Indians over Royals, 32-0.
QUICK NOTE ABOUT THIS LIVE BLOG
From here forth, my banal and worthless commentary can be read in the box below. It updates much like a one-way instant messenger conversation does, which means you do not need to keep refreshing the page. Feel free to comment in the box at the bottom -- if your sentiment is funny or poorly-informed enough, I may just post it in the blog. Enjoy!
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