Bill Simmons and ESPN Are Not Having Sex

Whew. If Bill Simmons and ESPN were having sex, I would have lots of questions. Perhaps questions I don't want answered, but questions nonetheless. Non-metaphorically speaking though, it would appear, based on the Sports Guy's chat today, that he and ESPN have begun the makeup process and that his little pot-shot-taking foray back into the personal blog world may have given the WWL reason to play nice.

Or as Simmons said, let him back in bed.

Stephen (Nashville, TN): So you do a chat about the Finals, but you refuse to answer any question too probing because it "steps on the preview column." Is this whole thing just a show so we know you and ESPN are still cool?

SportsNation Bill Simmons: (12:25 PM ET ) I am no longer sleeping on the living room coach. Altrhough [sic] we're still not having sex.

Alright, an actual reason to read the chat if you're not a Bostonian or fan of the Real World (full disclosure: I hate the RW, but that dude breaking down in an alcoholic rage? Hysterical.)

No, seriously. It's nice to see the Sports Guy off the couch, although I find the phrasing of that particularly odd. Isn't Simmons the one who got angry and took of on his own? Because that is the way I interpreted it; not that ESPN told him to write less because they were enforcing his contract, but that he was sick of being censored.

Or maybe I'm just whiffing on the relationship to the couch metaphor entirely. That's completely possible. Point being is that Simmons threw a mini-hissy and went public when ESPN tried to tighten their ~~noose~~ ~~leash~~ contractual strings around him.

Then they realized he brings in the bacon and caved on something, I suppose. Podcast guests? Maybe Simmons was sick of Matt Berry and Chad Ford? They're as good as Barack Obama, when you really break it down to sports knowledge though, right? Who knows.

The one thing I do know is that the WWL might do some crazy things, but Simmons probably won this little skirmish, because there was no chance in hell they were going into a Lakers - Celtics NBA finals without him cranking out near daily columns.