Michael Jordan Has 99 Problems But a ... Actually, Make That 100

We've documented Michael Jordan's run-ins with Lisa Miceli several times before, and today he formally requested a permanent no-contact order against her. He'll find out within 10 days if the judge grants him one.

Who's Lisa Miceli, you ask? She claims to have had an on-again, off-again affair with MJ, which may or may not be true, and she also claims that MJ fathered her four-year-old child, which two separate paternity tests have determined to be false.

Nevertheless, she won't stop harassing him, sending him a non-stop barrage of emails and voice mail messages. It seems clear the woman is disturbed -- she was even thrown out of today's court proceedings for speaking out of turn several times.

If you want Miceli's side of the story, well, she has a blog. She's been quite active publishing the last few days, but good luck deciphering any of her rantings. If she really feels wronged and wants to win the court of public opinion, deleting that, staying off the internet and going cold turkey on the crazy pills would be a huge step.

Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan, part-owner of the Charlotte Bobcats, watches workouts during the basketball pre-draft camp for the NBA in Lake Buena Vista, Fla., Wednesday, May 28, 2008.(AP Photo/Reinhold Matay)

NEW ORLEANS - FEBRUARY 15: Michael Jordan attends Jordan Brand Brings House of XX3 to New Orleans at the Board of Trade on February 15, 2008 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images)

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Paul O'Neil and wife attend he 7th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational Golf Tournament at Atlantis on January 16. 2007 at Paradise Island Bahamas.7th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational Golf Tournament.Atlantis.Paradise Island, Bahamas.January 16, 2008.Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage.com..To license this image (15306723), contact WireImage.com

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Guests attend he 7th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational Golf Tournament at Atlantis on January 16. 2007 at Paradise Island Bahamas.7th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational Golf Tournament.Atlantis.Paradise Island, Bahamas.January 16, 2008.Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage.com..To license this image (15306722), contact WireImage.com

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Ozzie Smith and Michael Jordan attend he 7th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational Golf Tournament at Atlantis on January 16. 2007 at Paradise Island Bahamas.7th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational Golf Tournament.Atlantis.Paradise Island, Bahamas.January 16, 2008.Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage.com..To license this image (15306721), contact WireImage.com

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Michael Jordan and Dennis Haysbert attend he 7th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational Golf Tournament at Atlantis on January 16. 2007 at Paradise Island Bahamas.7th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational Golf Tournament.Atlantis.Paradise Island, Bahamas.January 16, 2008.Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage.com..To license this image (15306720), contact WireImage.com

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Michael Jordan and Larry Jordan attend he 7th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational Golf Tournament at Atlantis on January 16. 2007 at Paradise Island Bahamas.7th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational Golf Tournament.Atlantis.Paradise Island, Bahamas.January 16, 2008.Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage.com..To license this image (15306719), contact WireImage.com

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Angie Everhart and Michael Jordan attendsthe 7th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational Golf Tournament at Atlantis on January 16. 2007 at Paradise Island Bahamas.7th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational Golf Tournament.Atlantis.Paradise Island, Bahamas.January 16, 2008.Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage.com..To license this image (15306718), contact WireImage.com

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Andrew Jones attends the 7th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational Golf Tournament at Atlantis on January 16. 2007 at Paradise Island Bahamas.7th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational Golf Tournament.Atlantis.Paradise Island, Bahamas.January 16, 2008.Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage.com..To license this image (15306711), contact WireImage.com

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