Despite being three and a half games ahead of the competition in the American League West, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim have a big problem - their players keep getting hurt, and nobody knows why. Vlad Guerrero and Scot Shields are getting check out for health issues and Chone Figgins has a hamstring made out of velcro. In unrelated stories, Kendry Morales was gored to death in a bullfight and Jose Arredondo had a bomb stuffed in his mouth, was blown up from the inside, and tumbled into a pit of lava where he was then burned to death.

So.

Today's Dugout examines the problems in Los Angeles (or Anaheim?) and using the in-depth baseball analysis Fanhouse has become famous for, blames the problem on the 1990s remake of a 1950s movie. Here's to hoping they come out with another Pirates of the Caribbean movie so we can get Pittsburgh in a few of these.

Angels inside of the Outfield, after the jump.

The Dugout

	BommansBest: God... if there is a God... if you're a man or a woman... if you're listening, I'd really, really like a family.
	BommansBest: My dad says that will only happen if the Angels win the pennant. The baseball team, I mean. So, maybe you can help them win a little. Amen.
	BommansBest: Oh, A-woman, too.
	Online Host Sometime later...
	BommansBest: You gotta believe me! I prayed to God that he'd help California of Anaheim of Los Angeles win, and he sent help!
	OpportunityKnox: kid you bout damn crazy
	OpportunityKnox: What's he gonna do? Send us a draft pick? He gonna let us trade Chris the Bootcheck for Albert Pujols?
	BommansBest: Wull I dunno!! But... but God could send angels to help us make diving catches in the outfield! To throw super fastballs! To... to slide better, I dunno!
	OpportunityKnox: you know a angel is a dead person, right
	BommansBest: whattaya mean?
	OpportunityKnox: less just wait and see what happens.
	chpwned: /takes a lead off first /stutters /takes off for second
	Online Host God has intervened.
	DeadBody: /plops out of sky
	chpwned: WHOA WHAT THE FUH /trips over corpse /collapses into second base
	chpwned: sssshhhh aaaaaaahhhh /grabs hamstring
	DeadBody: /winks, disappears
	BommansBest: Wait, that... that didn't make any sense.. .?
	OpportunityKnox: heaven is full of dead people, kid, the good lord's gotta work with what he's got. you're the one who asked for help
	BommansBest: but I-
	OpportunityKnox: next time pray that we get a whole lotta money
	Online Host The opposing team has hit a pop fly into the outfield.
	Vlad_the_ImPLAYER: /tracks ball
	BlastCorpse: /crawls out of ground ngaaaaah nnngngggaaaah
	Vlad_the_ImPLAYER: ¡Oh mi dios! ¿Por qué hay un zombi en California meridional?
	BlastCorpse: /tries to help Vlad catch the fly ball by biting him in the leg
	Vlad_the_ImPLAYER: Perdóneme, mi gama no es muy bueno cuando tengo un zombi el morder de mi pierna. ayyyyyyyyy /collapses
	BommansBest: my dad sure isn't going to love me after this
	OpportunityKnox: I said I wanted Manny Corpas, but this is ridiculous!
	Online Host Missed_a_T is trying to pitch well, but he is getting pretty old so nobody expects him to pitch well!
	Missed_a_T: /wipes brow /takes deep breath
	Missed_a_T: /winds up
	MoreLikeArgoNot: /bursts from Scot Shields' side
	Missed_a_T: AAAH AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH /slumps over /slides off mound in bloody mess
	MoreLikeArgoNot: KREEEEEE
	BommansBest: I hate you, God! I hate you! I hate you!
	OpportunityKnox: i'm gettin too ol for this shit

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The Dugout: Send Me An Angel (Right Now)

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