There's nothing like your tight ends coach
guaranteeing a successful season:
"I guarantee you (Irish fans) that you won't be disappointed this season. Mark it down, we're on a mission," Bernie Parmalee, tight ends coach, told members of the Notre Dame Club of Northwest Indiana in St. Patrick's church hall.
And by god, the Notre Dame tight ends are going to be wholly responsible for it! So many questions:
- Notre Dame seriously has a coach who just does tight ends?
- Notre Dame seriously has a coach who guarantees Notre Dame fans, who have been disappointed every year since 1993, that they will not be disappointed this year?
- ...and this guy is the uber-responsible-for-all-accomplishments tight ends coach?
- Notre Dame seriously has a coach who claims the team is on a mission and doesn't reflexively insert "... from God" afterwards?
- Bernie Parmalee?
Answers: uh... yup... weird, uh... evidently, seriously, uh... disapointingly, and yeah, weird.
LOOK: Amazing Underwater Photos Of Dogs
Rick Santorum's Wife Sued Doctor For $500,000 In 1999
Why New England Town Wants $286,000 Police 'Tank'
Congress Agrees On Payroll Tax Cut, Unemployment Extension
House Dems Walk Out Of Birth Control Hearing
Chaos Inside Burning Barracks
'Colbert Report' Abruptly Suspends Production For The Week
WATCH: Fox News Host Makes Shocking Comment About Black Rep.
Pelosi Rips GOP Over Birth Control: I May Be "Moved To Explain Biology To My Colleagues"
Apple Lifts The Veil On Gorgeous New OS X
WATCH: CNN Contributor Compares Sarah Palin To Snooki
RECOVERING THE RECOVERY: A Good Sign For American Jobs
Local Fishers Deliver Invasive Potomac River Menace To Legendary Manhattan Eatery
Steel Beams Crash 40 Stories At WTC Construction Site
House Democrat Mocks Newt Gingrich For Birth Control Comments
The Most Expensive City In The World Is...
Payroll Tax Cut: A Win For Scott Brown
Deanna Fei: ASIAN MEN CAN JUMP
Amanda Knox Receives Book Deal
Walsh: Boehner Not Trying Hard Enough To Repeal Obamacare
Defense Says Yeardley Love Suffocated
Putin's First Ride Fail
How Jeremy Lin Proves Everything We Know About Investing Is Wrong
Oklahoma Senate Approves 'Personhood' Bill
A Tale Of Dual Tracking: Trying To Modify A Loan As Bank Forecloses
WATCH: Trita Parsi Says There's No 'Military Solution' In Iran Nuclear Standoff
Jimmy Carter Casts Movement As 'Relatively Successful'
Actress In Controversial China Political Ad Apologizes
