**OnlineHost** Ron Washington and Nolan Ryan have entered the Rangers' clubhouse.

NolanOnTheRiver: Ohhh Lordy.

BoomBoomWashington: /examines severed leg

It's Ponson. I know it.

NolanOnTheRiver: I figured a severed Sidney Ponson leg would have more fat an' gristle droolin' out of it.

BoomBoomWashington: No, no, this is Saltalamacchia's leg. I mean this is clearly the work of Sidney Ponson.

NolanOnTheRiver: This ain't good for the team. We can't have fellas gnawin' at each other like this.

We gotta cut him.

BoomBoomWashington: But his ERA's under 4. We don't have any other starters with an ERA under 14. How are we going to explain this to the press?

NolanOnTheRiver: They don't need to know. You don't tell them nothin'.

NolanOnTheRiver: Just get that son of a bitch off my team. Make sure that hungry bastard never sees another human face s'long as he's suckin' air.

BoomBoomWashington: I'm on it.

**OnlineHost** The next day, somewhere in the remote American Midwest...

**OnlineHost** A large crate, fastened to a helicopter, is released and sent falling to the ground.

**OnlineHost** The crate crashes to the Earth amidst a dense wood. Birds scatter. For a moment, all is silent.

Ponson1LegAtATime: /tears planks out of side of crate

/staggers out

/drops to all fours, sniffs ground

Ponson1LegAtATime: /cocks head

ROOOOOOOOOAAAAR

**OnlineHost** The forest seems to tremble with fear. Birds and squirrels fall lifelessly from the trees, their corpses plopping against the Earth like a hellish rain.

Ponson1LegAtATime: hisssss

**OnlineHost** Sidney Ponson feasts.

**OnlineHost** Weeks pass. Ponson wanders about, laying waste the land he traverses.

**OnlineHost** Reports surface of ranchers and farmers spotting a large silhouette in the distance, shrieking, feasting upon raw flesh, alternating between two legs and four. Local authorities dismiss the reports as myth.

**OnlineHost** Finally, in July...

TreyHillMix: /drives town car through winding dirt road

/stops in front of log cabin, steps out

boy: /runs out to car

Mr. Trey? Are you Mr. Trey?

TreyHillMix: Yessir, young man. I got here as soon as I heard.

boy: Ya want I should fetch Paw? Paw's out fixin' the thresher with Uncle Samuel.

TreyHillMix: No, no. I'd prefer that we keep this a secret.

boy: Okay then, c'mon! I'll show ya!

**OnlineHost** The man and boy visit a well.

boy: I found'm in here! Me an' Joey, m'cousin Joey, were playin', and we hear a powr'ful loud noise comin' from the well, and he says it's a monster but I don't believe'm!

TreyHillMix: Oh, don't be silly. No such thing as monsters.

/peers down well

Ponson1LegAtATime: /gnashes teeth

TreyHillMix: /pulls contract and pen out of jacket, places in bucket

Lower the bucket down, will you, son?

boy: Y-yessir!

/slowly turns crank

**OnlineHost** The rope slackens. All is silent for a moment.

Ponson1LegAtATime: rrr

rrrraaa

Ponson1LegAtATime: rrrrraaaaa

rraaaabbbb

RRRABBBITTTTT

RABBBIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT

TreyHillMix: Rabbit. He's saying rabbit.

boy: M'folks keep rabbits! We bring 'em to the fair each August!

TreyHillMix: Please bring me one.

boy: Yessir!

boy: /returns with rabbit, places in bucket

/slowly turns crank

TreyHillMix: /waits

It sure has gotten cloudy in a hurry.

boy: M'maw always said to me that rain's th'Lord God's way a' cleansin' the Earth! Like a baptism or a footwashin'!

TreyHillMix: The Lord will soon be angry with me. But once my pitching staff has a solid back-end, the Lord will once again call me a servant.

**OnlineHost** A tug at the rope.

TreyHillMix: Bring it up. Bring it up!

boy: /turns crank

TreyHillMix: /retrieves contract from bucket

**OnlineHost** The paper is covered with a blood-red print of an outstretched hand, flecked with fur.

TreyHillMix: /presses "notary public" stamp in corner

TreyHillMix: Son, you've done well. How's about a dollar?

boy: A dollar! Thanks mister! I'm gonna take this to Old Waldman's and buy some rope candy!

TreyHillMix: /tips cap

There's a good boy.

**OnlineHost** The boy has left the chat room.

TreyHillMix: /yells down well

You have been reborn! Come up, you monster, you fool!

Ponson1LegAtATime: /slowly clambers the rock walls of the well, human femur in mouth

TreyHillMix: /grins