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Baseball is America's pastime, but had our forefathers enjoyed the modern conveniences of clocks, ball pumps, or haste, this pastime may well have been basketball or football. Instead, they had wood, leather, and a rudderless disposition. Baseball is Boring is a series of live blogs for folks who need irony and self-awareness to get through a game.
Today the Chicago Cubs, fresh off the incapacitation of Alfonso Soriano (baseball's answer to Willis Reed), place their hopes in their ace, Carlos Zambrano (baseball's answer to Willis Reed). Zambrano is a man who can yell and chew gum at the same time, and I doubt he'll let the loss of Soriano distract him from posting a solid outing.
The Braves respond by trotting out northpaw Tim Hudson (baseball's answer to Willis Reed), the closest resemblance of a sure thing that Atlanta's rotation can presently muster. With any luck, we may even see day-to-day legend Chipper Jones (baseball's answer to Willis Reed) make a plate appearance.
Braves-Cubs, from the friendly confines of Willis Reed, after the jump.
THE ESSENTIALS
The Braves (32-34) start Tim Hudson (7-4, 2.86 ERA).
The Cubs (42-24) start Carlos Zambrano (8-2, 3.01 ERA).
ANALYSIS
God, it's great to be alive.
Takes the skin right off my hide
To think I'll have to give it all up someday.
And if I ever treated you mean,
You know that it was only because
I'm sorry i couldn't have you for my own.
I'll be true to you.
Oh yeah, you know I will.
I'll be true to you forever or until
I go home.
- "To Go Home", M. Ward
PREDICTION
Cubs over Braves, 5-1.
QUICK NOTE ABOUT THIS LIVE BLOG
From here forth, my banal and worthless commentary can be read in the box below. It updates much like a one-way instant messenger conversation does, which means you do not need to keep refreshing the page. Feel free to comment in the box at the bottom -- if your sentiment is funny or poorly-informed enough, I may just post it in the blog. Enjoy!
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