Bill Simmons Writes on Deadspin; Universe Scheduled to Collapse by 6:00 EDT

Hey, it's a sports blog writing about a sports blog and the world's first sports blogger! This is somewhere between navel-gazing and blogsturbation; we'll stick with the navel one for the picture's sake.

Regular readers of the super-famous sports blog Deadspin are probably aware of two things about it: 1) it's editor Will Leitch's last week, and 2) ESPN loathes Deadspin. Loathe hate anger rage.

Regarding the first point (we'll get to point two in a second), in the tradition of fine sendoffs, the peripheral characters of Deadspin are conducting a multi-segmented roast of Mr. Leitch, starting today. There's Big Daddy Drew, the Awful Announcing guy, Will's girlfriend, and hey, there's Bill Simmons too.

Wait wait wait wait. ESPN's Bill Simmons? That guy, the Sports Guy? ESPN.com's most decorated columnist is writing for ESPN's most hated nemesis?! (link is sort of NSFW: language and a crude fellatic photoshop that looks more like monochromatic vomit)

You directed 500 of your minions over to ESPN.com's brand-new Conversation boards so they could make jokes about Harold Reynolds banging my wife. (Note: I didn't think this was funny at the time ... now, I have to admit, it was kind of funny.) You were described by Buzz Bissinger as "Jimmy Olsen on Percocets," an analogy that gets more amusing every day. You even turned Chris Berman into the Casanova of the 21st century.

Sure enough. Erstwhile Page2 colleague Dan Shanoff appears in the comments of the article to make a statement about ESPN that, due to its scatological nature, we can't possibly repeat here or in front of our parents. The entire piece is supremely entertaining, especially as Simmons pores over pictures of Leitch from Google Images, and a strange salvo to be fired in the war between MSM and Blogfrica.