Tiger Woods Obviously Hates America, Won't Make Guest Appearance at Ryder Cup

Tiger Woods gave a wide-ranging conference call Monday, and in addition to mentioning something about a sore knee, the world's best one-legged player also touched on the upcoming Ryder Cup and his role in the spectacle:

Q: If Zinger asked you to come in and just be around the team that week, and even perhaps as an assistant captain, would you consider it?

A: Well, I'm not part of the team unfortunately. I didn't because of my procedure, I'm not on the team. It's about those 12 guys, it's not about me. I'm not part of that crew.

Well, technically, you are part of the team since you're currently the leader in Ryder Cup points. But, yeah, I can't really blame you for not wanting to be part of a squad that hasn't won the event in nine years.

The Golf Blog thinks that Woods implying that he won't show up at Valhalla, site of the impending U.S. beatdown, means he doesn't care about the Ryder Cup. Maybe. Local Knowledge offers another explanation:

The distraction factor caused by his presence becomes too big a story, especially once the competition has begun.

No one is more aware of this glare than Woods. He has never been a rah-rah type of guy, and in the context of the emotionally charged Ryder Cup, his role as ceremonial icon would awkwardly counter his tendency to lead by example. No matter how vast his greatness becomes, he simply doesn't define himself on those terms. It's one thing to unleash a few fist-pumps after holing a big putt, another entirely to show up without your clubs and sit in a cart with a pair of pompoms.

How about a compromise: Woods shows up, sits in a golf cart, but is still allowed to break out the fist-pump at strategic points during the weekend? Too awkward? Moving on...

I don't begrudge Eldrick for wanting to skip the event entirely. He'd obviously prefer to be playing, but I'm not sure what he'd add by sitting around sporting god-awful shirts and wearing a nifty little headset while he and Zinger communicated via walkie-talkie. Particularly when the alternative is lounging in his mansion staring at his wife.