This is the best and the worst time of year for Dugouts. The trade deadline looms and we'll get a chance to cover a lot of teams we don't normally cover. At the same time, the newsmakers of baseball start making news, and most of the time that involves a steady stream of unbelievable stories from the Yankees and the Red Sox. I want to do more Pirates Dugouts, but nobody in Pittsburgh just had their marriage broken up by a random assemblance of pop musicians. Nobody from the Pirates ran up a wall and high-fived a guy.

We've been sitting on this for a few days, waiting for the logical "oh THIS is what really happened" to come along. It just... isn't coming along. So today we attempt to handle this from an educated, even-handed perspective.

Today's Dugout, which should've just been about the Royals again, is after the jump.

The Dugout

	Online Host e5_rod has entered the New York Yankees Clubhouse Chatroom.
	e5_rod: /breathes deeply /tosses dufflebag onto bench
	e5_rod: /hangs hat /leans forehead against wall, closes eyes
	e5_rod: /notices the entire team standing silently behind him silently
	e5_rod: uh... hello?
	Online Host The entire New York Yankees team is now smiling.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: / sup heterosexual_rod
	BertySanchez: hey bro, how's it goin, how was your "holiday" weekend, heh, meet any girls while you were out, anybody we might know
	LongLiveGiambi: yeah, did you meet any "material girls?"
	AsianNegro: you know, somebody nice, "like a virgin" ?
	GotMelk: come on Alex, tell us all about it, "express yourself"
	AbreuInHalf: ya buddy i hear that celebrity hookups are in "vogue"
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: wait is alex haven sex with en vogue i thought he was up to ones balls in madonna
	e5_rod: timidly shut up joo guys, a-rah is not havingk sex with em vogue
	e5_rod: ... an i swurr a-rah is not havingk sex wit modonna, look i have had a long night so if joo coul just let me alone i woul appreciate it
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: that's not what the tabloits are sayen, aol presents the fanhouse is says it went down like...
	Online Host Welcome to the Sports Blogger Interpretation of Celebrity Events Chatroom, by Kyle Farnsworth Esq.!
	e5_rod: HEY THERE MUSCLY ARM
	RitchieBitch: i am attracted to you because you like "like a player" /pseudo-masturbates in cone bra
	e5_rod: I HAVE MORE THAN ONE RACE JOOR CHILT WILL BE BEAUTIFOOL
	RitchieBitch: do you loik moi british accent mate? come with me to me flat an 'elp me wif me yoga
	e5_rod: TELL ME ABOUT KABBALAH THE RELITCHION
	Online Host And, scene.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: ...an then the both a yous stayt up doen the flip nasty an talken about that religion which is jus like boodism but with gas masks an hookswords
	e5_rod: ¡ME CAGO EN LA LECHE DE LA PUTA QUE TE DATE LA LUZ!
	LongLiveGiambi: what
	3dw4r_r4m1r3z: /shrugs
	e5_rod: THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HATE THE YANGKEES, JOO WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH
	e5_rod: MODONNA AND aRAH ARE JUST WORG OUT BUDDIES AN BROTHER AN SEESTER IN THE EYES OF OUR KABBALISTIGK UNDERSTANDING OF GOD
	e5_rod: BUT MY WIFE LEFF ME FOR LEMMY KRAVITZ
	LongLiveGiambi: What?? No!!
	AsianNegro: the guy from Motorhead?
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: you have a wife
	e5_rod: NOT ANY MORE AMERICAN ONLINE SPORTS FANHOU AOL BLOGK EVEN WROTE ABOUT IT, THE YANGKEES CHICK BROAG THE NEWS...
	Online Host Welcome to The Fanhouse Minute Interpretation of the Dissolution of Alex Rodriguez's Marriage by The Yankees Chick, as read by Alex Rodriguez!
	LennyNotCarl: HEY BABY I AM LEMMY KRAVITZ JOO ARE LOOKINGK HELL OF FINE MY MOM WAS ON THE JEFFERSONS I AM HOT SH-- ARE YOU GONNA GO MY WAY
	she5_rod: I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON BUT NO I LOVE MY HUSBANT
	LennyNotCarl: COME ON BABY I RAN INTO KYLE FARMSWORTH AN HE SAYS THAT WE SHOUL BE TOGETHER
	she5_rod: REALLY KYLE FARMSWORTH SAID THAT OKAY THEN
	LennyNotCarl: KYLE FARMSWORTHLESS IS RUININGK OUR AMERIGAN HOMES
	she5_rod: YES HE IS THE GAUSE OF ALL OF OUR PROMBLEMS
	Online Host More about how My Favorite Team Who Always Wins is terrible after the jump.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: that woman deserves here revenge an we deserve to die
	AbreuInHalf: you're just saying that because you think she's hot
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: shut up !!! /closes browser windows
	BertySanchez: who lives this life where Madonna and Lenny Kravitz wander in and ruin their marriage, seriously
	LongLiveGiambi: yeah really, I'm a big fat guy in a thong who looks like a Goomba from Mario 1, my first wife left me for a plumber
	AsianNegro: I almost had a wife once, she dumped me for a body pillow
	e5_rod: IT FEELS AWFUL AND NO AMOUNT OF MONEY OR FAME CAN ERASE THE PAIN OF LOSINGK SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT
	e5_rod: HAVE SOME GLASS AN GOMPASSION
	LongLiveGiambi: eesh, sorry A-Rod, we weren't thinking.
	AbreuInHalf: The end of a marriage is a horrible thing to experience and we were just messing around, we hope you're okay and if you need anything just let us know.
	e5_rod: thanks joo guys
	LongLiveGiambi: have you told the Captain yet?
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: does HE know how you have a wife, because i'm still laffen at that
	e5_rod: where is he, do joo know
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: well accorden to the mlb sports weblog presented by americans on the line, he has been spotted "canoodelen with starlets jessica biel, scarlett johansson, minka kelly, the blont girl from 8 simple rules, an two of the olsen twins at a trendy night spot, all at the same time" reports tmz
	e5_rod: WHAAAAAT BOOOOOOYYYYYYYY~!!!!! /storms out of chatroom
	Online Host Meanwhile, in Monument Park...
	JetersNeverProsper: /pulls petals from flower
	JetersNeverProsper: He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves-
	JetersNeverProsper: /sobs

Hot on HuffPost:

The Dugout: The Inevitable A-Rod/Madonna One

The Dugout

Photos link to player info. (Photo Credit: Getty Images) WordUpThome.com

Hot Leads

ON FACEBOOK

News From Our Partners

Also on AOL >>>

Depp's Dames

Alicia's Evolution

Lip-Sync Fun

They Hooked You

Hot on HuffPost:

The Dugout: The Inevitable A-Rod/Madonna One

The Dugout

Photos link to player info. (Photo Credit: Getty Images) WordUpThome.com

Hot Leads

HuffPost AOL Social News Most Popular

ON FACEBOOK

News From Our Partners

Also on AOL >>>

Depp's Dames

Alicia's Evolution

Lip-Sync Fun

They Hooked You