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American Mustache Institute Throws Its Support Firmly Behind Jason Giambi

Jul 7, 2008 – 10:01 PM
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Eamonn Brennan

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Jason Giambi is probably a deserving All-Star -- certainly more deserving than others on his team -- but it's no crime for one overpaid Yankee to stay home for the game. Boo-effing-hoo, right? The Yankees already have like 82 people on the All-Star team.

Still, there is part of me that wants to support Giambi's candidacy. It's not just because of his ability, or his numbers -- it's because of that 'stache. It's beautiful. In one of the great political endorsements of this tumultuous campaign year, the American Mustache Institute agrees with me:
The American Mustache Institute officially offered their support for Giambi's All-Star candidacy today. "It doesn't take a mathematician to figure out that Jason Giambi's hitting prowess plus a fashionable mustache, equals a bona fide All-Star," said Aaron Perlut, Executive Director of The American Mustache Institute. "Giambi's significant first-half production as well as his powerful lip fur – indicating great intellect and good looks – make two very compelling reasons for his place on the American League All-Star roster."
Frankly, I'm a bit surprised at the Institute's willingness to label Giambi's mustache as "lip fur." When we will we throw off these old politics and declare a new way, a way in which a beautifully grown mustache can not be so easily derided with cruel names? I say vote Giambi, and vote mustache. Yes, we can.
Filed under: Sports

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