Jose Canseco Gets Quickly 'Knocked Into Next Week' at Celebrity Boxing Match Saturday

Vai Sikahema didn't save the world on Saturday night, but he got the ball rolling, and that's pretty good for an average guy. And he did so by quickly destroying Jose Canseco in a "celebrity" boxing "match" that didn't last too particularly long and ended the same way it started, according to the New York Daily News: with a crowd of roughly 1,300 people booing, cursing and mocking the former baseball player for his steroid use.

Knocked Out

ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - JULY 12: Referee Allan Huggins is hit with a can of beer as he stops the fight after former NFL player Via Sikahema knocked down former Major League Baseball player Jose Canseco in the first round during their celebrity boxing match on July 12, 2008 at Bernie Robbins Stadium in Atlantic City, New Jersey. (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

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ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - JULY 12: Former NFL player Via Sikahema performs the Haka in celebration of his knockdown of Major League Baseball player Jose Canseco during their celebrity boxing match on July 12, 2008 at Bernie Robbins Stadium in Atlantic City, New Jersey. (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

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ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - JULY 12: Former Major League Baseball player Jose Canseco sits in the ring before his bout with former NFL player Via Sikahema during their celebrity boxing match on July 12, 2008 at Bernie Robbins Stadium in Atlantic City, New Jersey. (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

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ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - JULY 12: Referee Allan Huggins (L) stops the fight after former NFL player Via Sikahema knocked down former Major League Baseball player Jose Canseco (R) in the first round during their celebrity boxing match on July 12, 2008 at Bernie Robbins Stadium in Atlantic City, New Jersey. (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

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ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - JULY 12: Former NFL player Via Sikahema lands a right on former Major League Baseball player Jose Canseco during their celebrity boxing match on July 12, 2008 at Bernie Robbins Stadium in Atlantic City, New Jersey. (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

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ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - JULY 12: Former Major League Baseball player, Jose Canseco sits in the ring after being knocked out in the first round by former NFL player Via Sikahema during their celebrity boxing match on July 12, 2008 at Bernie Robbins Stadium in Atlantic City, New Jersey. (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

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ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - JULY 12: Former Major League Baseball player Jose Canseco leaves the stadium with girlfriend Heidi Northcott after being knocked out in the first round by former NFL player Via Sikahema during the celebrity boxing match on July 12, 2008 at Bernie Robbins Stadium in Atlantic City, New Jersey. (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

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ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - JULY 12: Former Major League Baseball player Jose Canseco exits the ring after being knocked out in the first round by former NFL player Via Sikahema during their celebrity boxing match on July 12, 2008 at Bernie Robbins Stadium in Atlantic City, New Jersey. (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

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In nearly less time than it takes to round the bases after one of his moon-shot homers, Jose Canseco was knocked out by former NFL return man Vai Sikahema in their celebrity boxing match that was equal parts "Saturday Night Fever" meets "Road House." How's this for star power - 1993 Phillies World Series goat Mitch Williams was ringside for the main event.

Asked after the fight if there were any surprises, Sikahema said, "That it didn't finish in the first 30 seconds."

[...]But it was hardly worth it for Canseco, who boasted at Friday's weigh-in that he has "incredible knock-out power." All he did, however, was get knocked into next week.

Usually I think happy endings are relatively sappy. But in this case, I'm willing to make an exception. Despite playing a role in the unveiling of MLB's steroid culture, over the past few months, Canseco has been nothing short of a promiscuous media figure and a scourge for every decent minded C-list celebrity trying to keep up a respectful image.

Bear in mind, too, that all of this humiliation came after a substantial amount of back and forth between the two fighters. Vai told Jose to "pack his lunch" because he was going to kick his A, and Canseco naturally came back with the ever-so-tough, "We'll see, bro." The most telling line came from Vai to the media, when he said that Canseco was a "walking corpse, because he's rotted out inside. He's a pathetic figure."

And, yes, it stinks to see him get paid $35,000 for this sham of a sporting event. But we can at least sleep soundly for the next few days knowing that his public embarrassment shouldn't breed any more of these things. Not that it's ever stopped him before though.