Big Ten Media Days: Joe Tiller Would Like You Off His Lawn, Kthx

The Fanhouse is at Big Ten Media Days providing a slanted and enchanted view of the proceedings. Here's the main post.

Joe Tiller is, as promised, in a polo shirt. Doesn't know much about the team, it's ironic that the last year is the most unusual spring he's been around. [Must be the Alanis Morrissette sort of irony in which irony ironically means "not ironic" -ed] 15 players they were counting on being starters missed all or most of spring practice(!). A quarterback who will leave Purdue a 3.5 year starter is pretty good. Big rebound from the kicker.

What's his legacy? He brought Purdue from "the depths," they might be 3rd or 4th in the Big Ten during his tenure after 12 non-bowl seasons, 11 losing; now they're competitive and "will be once again this year... probably." Reassuring!

Succession plan adjusts his last year "not at all." Hope's been around since the Wyoming days and they're very familiar. Head coach is "more managerial" than an actual coaching role -- think Rodriguez would disagree -- Hope's a family friend and all that.

Oy vey: "Share with us your thoughts about the most enduring relationship you've had..." This is a safe space where we can all share without be judged. He's met very few coaches he hasn't liked -- unless you are of the belief that Tiller was Tom Deinhart's secret anonymouse pal all these years.

"I'd like to think that if you can't get along with Joe Tiller there's something wrong with you, not Joe Tiller." Bob Palcic fought in 'Nam! [This is something that means "a collegiate coach has referenced himself in the third person much to my delight." I know it's weird. Sorry. -ed]

No "pride or amusment," as the questioner proposed, about the spread of the spread. "Doesn't suprise me at all that the spread offense has swept the nation. To me it's a reflection of our society. Our society is an instant gratification society and it fits right in." Could that have been more Wilford Brimely?

Next question is about Paterno. Tiller goes right for some event in the past where JoePa spearheaded a drive to not cut a coach: priorities. "I compare him to the everready [sic] bunny."

Another "Big Ten lame? yesno?" question. Tiller's suggestion: DESTROY ALL BLOGS. No, seriously: "I don't know, maybe short circuit out all the bloggers of the world." Joe, baby... I'm on your side on this one. More Boilerplate (ha!) about the strength of the conference. Turned on the TV in Wyoming and Dan Hawkins was talking about how they beat each other up "and that happens in every damn conference."

Question about Kawann Short, a recruit from Chicago contains this further indication that Joe Tiller is only as old as he feels, and he feels a hundred and thirty-seven: "I tell everyone that calls me from the office that you're fired so dn't call me when I'm on vacation." Dang kids and their hippin' and their hoppin'.

A final announcement: Tiller enjoys not wearing a tie. And with that, he's out.

GENERAL IMPRESSION: Endearingly cranky, used the third person to describe himself, added in gratuitous blog shot... thumbs up for the Tillerman.

FRUSTRATION WITH MEDIA LEVEL: Would be pretty high -- "share with us?" -- if Tiller hadn't been so adept at being crankily interesting. As is: simmer.