
As we ease back into regularly -scheduled Dugout programming post-Fanhouse makeover we have to get used to seeing familiar faces in new places. Lately Cleveland has taken the Baltimore Orioles approach to getting out of last place by trading away all their good players for prospects, so their best pitcher is now a Brewer and their third baseman/first baseman when they're tired of Ryan Garko hitting .006 is now an L.A. Dodger. The
Andy Marte Era has begun!
Today's non-Wikipedia Dugout entry chronicles two things:
1) The blockbuster trade between the Indians and the Dodgers
2) My ability to write about the Dodgers without falling back on that terrible Fresh Prince of Bel-Air running gag from the G1 Dugout
Major League beard-trading is after the jump.
The Dugout
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EthierOr: Hey Jon, this is the best cookout ever! How do you do it, m'man? |
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WaterMeloan: Heh, it's easy, friend! You keep the ultimate frisbee goin', you keep the brewskies on ice, and you cook th' dogs till they're blacker'n Melido Perez! |
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EthierOr: Hahaha, that's great! Why haven't we done this before? |
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WaterMeloan: welp, I've been having some trouble since I got put in the rotation and taken out of the bullpen. |
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WaterMeloan: but when I'm down in the minors I sit 'em down like Ironside, so I'm getting there. |
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EthierOr: That's fantastic, I'm excited about our great young prospects. In a few years the Dodgers are going to have the whole country "Thinking Blue" |
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WaterMeloan: yeah but wouldn't that mean they're sad |
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EthierOr: Depression is actually a step up from the NL West |
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pennywise: quiet you two, the bands about to go on |
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EthierOr: The band? You got a band for your cookout?? Who did you get? |
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WaterMeloan: there's a catcher in class A who has a p. sweet band |
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**Online Host** Baseballetta has entered the Cookout Chatroom. |
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Baseballetta: /plays heated Spanish guitar
byowwww ninny now now
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EthierOr: holy crap you guys since when have we had Carlos Santana in our organization |
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WaterMeloan: since like 2005 |
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pennywise: the gulf coast league is actually a step up from dueting with michelle branch |
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Baseballetta: /plays the same guitar part he's been playing since 1969, is awesome |
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Baseballetta: diddly diddly diddly diddly diddly dow ow ow ow ow owww |
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EthierOr: this is so sweet
so sweet
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EthierOr: This is the best afternoon ever, I hope these Dodgers never change and that we're all "thinking about the color blue" until we die |
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pennywise: hear hear |
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Baseballetta: diddly did- |
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**Online Host** The sound has been shut off. |
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EthierOr: Hey, what's going on? |
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**Online Host** Torreumon has entered the Cookout Chatroom holding an enrmous electrical plug |
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Torreumon: All right, boys, show's over. |
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pennywise: the hell brah |
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EthierOr: yeah, what the hell, what's going on coach? |
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Torreumon: We're in it to win this division so some trades had to be made. Santana, you and your highly successful blend of rock, blues, salsa, and jazz fusion are out of here. |
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EthierOr: WHAT |
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Baseballetta: dawww |
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**Online Host** Baseballetta has left the chatroom. |
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Torreumon: you too Meloan |
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WaterMeloan: but this is my house! |
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Torreumon: Your new house is in Cleveland, get out of here. |
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**Online Host** WaterMeloan has been kicked from the chatroom. |
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Torreumon: /picks nose with enormous plug |
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EthierOr: We were in the middle of a cookout! We were having fun! How could you! |
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Torreumon: hey now don't get mad at me, your cookout can still be fun... it's just now being run by your newest teammate. |
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EthierOr: Grady Sizemore? Victor Martinez? |
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pennywise: cliff lee? |
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Torreumon: what? No, Casey Blake |
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EthierOr: AaaAAAWWW |
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PointBlake: hello friends i am casey blake
my facial hair is styled into a beard |
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PointBlake: would you like to partake of bunned frankfurters and chip-styled potatoes |
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pennywise: this is going to be the most boring cookout slash second half of a season ever |
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PointBlake: for your enjoyment i have procured the music of one michelle branch |
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EthierOr: /desperately tries to climb over fence |
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