Nancy Pelosi's New Anti-Colbert Effort
U.S. Marines Posing With Symbol Resembling Nazi Logo 'Not Acceptable'
Only a day after the pivotal Dugout of the season, the passage of time and the inevitability of happenstance thrusts the trade of Manny Ramirez on us. And not just a trade: a trade full of organization-bashing and apathy after a season devoted to disproving the character we'd developed. Our Manny has always been a bit slow, but he's also always been the kind of guy who means well and tries hard, even when he's goofing around. He's misunderstood. He's just "being Manny."Well, "being Manny" has a different definition now.
As the Farnsworth story comes full circle, the MannyTheTorpedoes story comes to an end. Next week: Dontrelle Willis wins the Pulitzer Prize and Bill Pecota reveals that he prefers football. Tonight's Dugout, the end of an era, is after the jump.
The Dugout
 |
MannyTheTorpedoes: i don liek boson no mor |
|---|---|
 |
KingOfPap: o brothor whats rong now |
|
MannyTheTorpedoes: durin my yrs here i seen how they mistrea other gray player when they din wan em |
|
MannyTheTorpedoes: try to turn a fans agains em |
|
KingOfPap: nuh uh /cracks matchbox cars into each other mindlessly |
|
MannyTheTorpedoes: yea huh the ray sogs did the say thain to nomore garciapara an payro, now they do the say thain to me |
|
MannyTheTorpedoes: i liek my frens in boson but the ray sogs the red sogs |
|
MannyTheTorpedoes: ugh i need to concentrate an type this right |
|
KingOfPap: pshoooowwww /sends matchbox car flying down staircase |
|
MannyTheTorpedoes: the red sox... dont desrve me |
|
MannyTheTorpedoes: i'm not talking about money, mental peace has no price and i don't have peace here |
|
KingOfPap: ya u do |
|
MannyTheTorpedoes: listen to me god dammit i'm not happy anymore |
|
KingOfPap: /covers mouth u said g.d. |
|
KingOfPap: u wan play spies |
|
MannyTheTorpedoes: no i don't want to play spies with you, spies is a baby game and you don't even know what spies do |
|
KingOfPap: /blinks *sniffle* |
|
MannyTheTorpedoes: oh grow up |
|
KingOfPap: m-m-m m-m-m-m-mawwwwwwwwwm /runs away crying |
| **Online Host** KingOfPap has left the chatroom. |
|
|
MannyTheTorpedoes: whatever ugh i'm sick of looking at this screen name, if they trade me to philadelphia or miami i'm going to need a highbrow sn |
|
MannyTheTorpedoes: hold on |
|
**Online Host** **Online Host** **Online Host** |
|
 |
MannyBoutTown: That's better. |
| **Online Host** OrtizItThisOne has entered the chatroom. |
|
 |
OrtizItThisOne: Hey Manny, did you tell Papelbon about Santa Claus? Because he ran into my room a few minutes ago and won't stop sobbing. |
|
MannyBoutTown: No, I just told him that I didn't want to play spies. |
|
OrtizItThisOne: You didn't want to play spies? But you love spies! |
|
MannyBoutTown: He doesn't even know what spies do. |
|
OrtizItThisOne: Manny, you've got to get it together. You've got to go out there and give it your best every day, people are beginning to notice you not hustling, and... |
|
OrtizItThisOne: well, I know you're not going to be in Boston much longer and I want you to show people how great you are so you can get the biggest and best contract. |
|
OrtizItThisOne: You deserve it for being one of the best players in baseball for 15 years. Your family deserves it. |
|
MannyBoutTown: You're right. I do deserve it. But Boston doesn't. |
|
OrtizItThisOne: Manny, I don't know what you're saying, but well actually I do know what you're saying because this is the first time I think I've ever seen you use a capital letter |
|
OrtizItThisOne: but... I love you, Manny. I want you to be happy. |
|
MannyBoutTown: I tell you what. You love me so much? You know what's best for everybody? Here. /throws can of soup at Ortiz's feet |
|
MannyBoutTown: Open this up for me, "Papi." |
| **Online Host** MannyBoutTown has left the chatroom as slowly as possible. |
|
|
OrtizItThisOne: /stares at feet |
|
OrtizItThisOne: /quietly leaves the chatroom |
| **Online Host** Later, in the Los Angeles Dodgers Chatroom! |
|
 |
PointBlake: glaciers and mountain snows are rapidly melting-for example, montana's glacier national park now has only 27 glaciers, versus 150 in 1910 |
 |
EthierOr: AUGGGHHHH jesus god somebody save me from this |
|
EthierOr: Coach, please tell me that the most boring person to ever live is not your only plan for 2008, because I mean I love barehanded scoops as much as the next guy but f***ken-a |
 |
Torreumon: heh heh, don't worry, kid, dem bums just made the blockbuster trade of the season. |
|
Torreumon: We just picked up someone I know very well from my years in New York. |
 |
DoctorProctor: we... we didn't trade for Kyle Farnsworth, did we? |
|
DoctorProctor: because that would be uh, terrible, just... just terrible. |
|
Torreumon: the only time "blockbuster" and "Kyle Farnsworth" are used in the same sentence is when he's late returning his VHS copy of Best of the Best 2 |
|
Torreumon: We're benching the entire outfield just to bring in this man: Manny Ramirez. |
|
EthierOr: ARE YOU ARE YOU KIDDING ME HOLY S*** DUDE |
 |
MannyBoutTown: sup. /brushes back dreadlocks |
|
Torreumon: Manny is here to swing away 24/7 and from this point forward you're to refer to him as "Hollywood" Manny Ramirez |
|
MannyBoutTown: /puts palm over cell phone Where is your Green Monster? |
|
Torreumon: We don't have a Green Monster, we're the Dodgers, we play in Dodger Stadium. |
|
MannyBoutTown: /rolls eyes Well, any left field wall, obviously. |
|
Torreumon: /points of left field |
|
MannyBoutTown: thank you so much /talks into cell phone, wanders into left field /unzips pants |
|
DoctorProctor: wh...what's he doing? Is he- |
|
Torreumon: Pissing on our left field wall. |
|
DoctorProctor: well, I guess he's got to go somewhere |
|
EthierOr: this is the greatest day of all time |
| **Online Host** Meanwhile, in the Boston Red Sox Chatroom... |
|
|
KingOfPap: peww peww /fires finger guns u will never recovr th microfilm dr papi this blongs 2 th gobernment |
|
OrtizItThisOne: You'll never escape my evil base! Guards, seize him! |
|
KingOfPap: th name is bon papel bon /dives behind couch |
|
OrtizItThisOne: /stares silently at feet for a moment |
|
OrtizItThisOne: I'll get you yet, Papel Bon! |
Rick Santorum Gets Rock Star Treatment At CPAC
Mitt Romney Tells CPAC He's Lived Conservatism, Not Just Talked About It
White House Bending On Birth Control Rule
Presidential Candidates, Conservative Leaders Hit Washington
WATCH: Obama Shoots Down Reporters Over Controversial Ruling
Ann Coulter CPAC Speech: In Support Of Romney, 'Let's Try Square For A While'
Bioterror Death Germs Thrive In Labs, Nature, As U.S. Funding Withers
Herman Cain: 'There Really Is' An Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan
Panetta Calls For New Probe In Controversial Marines Photo
Awful Cover Letter To J.P. Morgan Laughing Stock Of Wall Street
Prosecutors Request Examination Of Late Cardinal's Body After Suspicious Timing Of Death
Ben Bernanke: Blame Housing For This Lousy Recovery
Sandusky Takes The Stand
Citing Politics, Some States Forego Waivers And Stay With No Child Left Behind
Siri-like App Gives Racist, Bigoted Answers, Forces Company To Make Policy Changes
The Most HIlarious #FedValentines
Gabrielle Giffords' Final Act Signed Into Law
WATCH: Conservatives Rap About America, Don Colonial-Style Wigs At CPAC
Two Bombs Hit Security Headquarters In Syria's Aleppo
Mike Huckabee CPAC Speech: 'We Are All Catholics Now'
Obama's Contraception Rule A Matter Of Life-Altering Care For Some
North Dakota Walmart Evicts Workers Living In Parking Lot
WATCH: Conservative Pundit's Nasty Attack On Maddow
