AOL News has a new home! The Huffington Post.

Click here to visit the new home of AOL News!

Hot on HuffPost:

See More Stories

The Dugout: If He Hits One There, We Can Dance in the Streets

Aug 5, 2008 – 6:15 PM
Text Size
Jon Bois

Jon Bois %BloggerTitle%



Skip Caray, longtime radio and television voice of the Braves, passed away Sunday.

There was no better place and time for a baseball fan than Atlanta during the 1990s. There are several reasons for this, but Skip's contribution to those halcyon days cannot be overstated. He called Sid Bream's slide, Otis Nixon's catch, and Marquis Grissom's Series-clinching grab. Those of us who remember him best, though, appreciated him for other reasons.

The man knew so much about baseball that he grew bored. Once, without provocation, he turned to his booth mate and asked, "How are our governmental relations with Spain? Do you happen to know?" He would sometimes relate traffic reports or insult whichever poor fan happened to be within the idle shot of a television camera. He endlessly harped on pitcher Jung Bong and delivered family-unfriendly word plays. I'm sure your favorite broadcaster loves the game of baseball. But my favorite broadcaster expressed his love for it with the sort of genuine, subtle, creative, grumpy manner that we would not have otherwise heard.

I'll continue to use the word "baseball" to describe this game, but when Skip Caray was with us, it meant something just a little bit different to me.

Today's Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

**OnlineHost** Welcome to the Mansion of Heaven chat room.

StPeter: Hold up a second. You can't just walk in. You must first hear your sins before you are allowed through these gates.

Skip: Oh. Okay.

StPeter: /flips through pages

Ummmmumumumummm

One time, while on air, you called Pete Van Wieren a "dork" for confusing Donald Duck and Daffy Duck.

StPeter: That's it. You may pass.

Skip: Thanks.

/enters gate

**OnlineHost** Last call for Flight 309 to Atlanta Braves concourse. Departure in five minutes.

Skip: oh crap

oh crap oh crap oh crap

/jogs to terminal

Skip: /presses face against glass, watches plane lift off

Skip: Damn it!

ThatOlivaMark: ...Skip? Skip Caray?

Skip: Jose Oliva! I was hoping I'd run into you up here!

ThatOlivaMark: Need a ride, huh? Come on, my car's in the lot.

**OnlineHost** Later...

Skip: /opens car door

I really appreciate the lift.

ThatOlivaMark: No problem.

Skip: ...and you know? It figures that the plane leaves without me. It really figures.

Skip: One time I was critical of Javy Lopez. The Braves office punished me by taking off on the charter flight without me.

ThatOlivaMark: Yeah, I get your broadcasts up here. You've referenced it like 900 times.

Skip: Yeah, can you believe that? It's ridiculous! Is that why it just happened to me up here? Is Heaven some sort of condensed repeat track of the life I experienced on Earth?

ThatOlivaMark: Let it go, I guess, right? I mean, I stopped and gave you a ride. On Earth, I died because I stopped to give someone a ride.

ThatOlivaMark: You've got a long time up here, man. A long time. More than enough to reconcile yourself with the conflicts of your life.

ThatOlivaMark: So procrastinate a little, huh? Enjoy it up here. Say hello to some friends.

ThatOlivaMark: Just-- hey, just do me one favor.

Skip: sigh

ThatOlivaMark: You know what I'm going to ask.

Skip: oh fine

"And the inning, ih-ih-ih-ih-ihs over!"

ThatOlivaMark: hahaha! That's it, that's it!

Skip: /grumbles, steps out of car

/takes elevator up

Skip: /looks around, sees note on coffee table

/reads

Skip: "Hello, and welcome to your spacious new living quarters! This fully-furnished apartment features a master bedroom, two walk-in closets, two full bathrooms, and direct outdoor access!"

Skip: Huh.

/opens door

**OnlineHost** The door opens to the TBS press box of a baseball stadium. The entire park appears to be empty.

Skip: /sits at broadcast chair

So this is it, huh? This is it.


Skip: . . .

God I'm bored.

**OnlineHost** A figure can be seen waving from the WGN press box, on the other side of the stadium.

Skip: /squints

Harry: /grins

Skip: whoa

WHOA

HEY DAD HEY OVER HERE

Harry: /waves

Skip: oh man this is so great

Skip: /picks up telestrator, draws goatee on father

Harry: /menacingly brandishes telestrator pen

Skip: COME ON, WHAT YOU GOT OLD MAN

Harry: /sits down to draw devil horns on Skip

Skip: ahahaha

wheeeee

Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty, Creative Commons
Filed under: Sports

ON FACEBOOK