With Hurricane Gustav hitting the coast recently and Hurricane Ike using Great Aether on a bunch of Texas, we were bound to get horrible weather throughout the United States. Thankfully rain delays are only slightly more boring than the actual game of baseball, so when there's no real news to be had one can make fun out of what they have. I was lucky enough to have the White Sox and the Tigers in the same place when the doubleheaders started getting scheduled.

Additional Dugout Universe notes:

- If you haven't already, don't forget to read Mike's article about his trip to Tropicana Field over at Progressive Boink.
- Dugout T-shirts are still on sale, and can be worn over the head like a thin hat to guard you from rain
- In lieu of a better archiving system, you can now click most players' photo for an easy link to their Fanhouse tag, where you can read all of the other Dugouts featuring that player.
- Tonight's murky Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

	Online Host Welcome to the U.S. Cellular Field Rain Delay Chatroom!
	WordUpThome: /stands at edge of dugout, reaches out to catch drops of rain on palm
	WordUpThome: I OPENED MY EYES AND LOOKED UP AT THE RAIN AND IT DRIPPED IN MY HEAD AND FLOWED INTO MY BRAIN
	WordUpThome: AND ALL THAT I HEAR AS I LIE IN MY BED IS THE SLISHITY-SLOSH OF THE RAIN IN MY HEAD
	WordUpThome: I STEP VERY SOFTLY, I WALK VERY SLOW - I CAN'T DO A HANDSTAND I MIGHT OVERFLOW
	WordUpThome: SO PARDON THE WILD CRAZY THING I JUST SAID IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME SINCE THERE'S RAI
	WordUpThome: RAIN IN MY HEAD
	OzzieOzzieOzzie: /walks to edge of dugout, stands beside Ji /Jim
	OzzieOzzieOzzie: /smiles Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect!
	WordUpThome: THAT'S GREAT COACH YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU COULD QUOTE SHEL SILVERSTEIN
	OzzieOzzieOzzie: Who the hell is Shel Silverstein?
	Online Host Meanwhile, across the field in the Visitors Dugout Chatroom...
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /walks to edge of dugout, sticks foot out into rain
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: rain! without love rain! cant get enough
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: rain! i like it rough cause id rather feel rain than nothing at ah-oo-wall
	TeachArmandoFish: uh, I don't think that's how the song goes, Kyle.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /takes out earphone what are you [defecating] upon me i got it right here on my ipod /scrolls through tracks
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: see, right here, "pain" by three days grace wait
	GotMeOnMyKnees: If yer gonna sing, at least sing a song you know the words to. You're ruining my two hour smoke break with your off-key caterwauling
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: yeah wull i only got so many songs about rain on here what do you think i am a korean child
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: oh how about "rain in the country" by the pink floyds
	TeachArmandoFish: isn't that instrumental? You can't sing a song without words.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: how the sam bitch am i spost to know weather or not its got words, i dont listen to it its just on my ipod
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i downloaded a bunch a tracts off a kazaa looken for that song where they dont need an education never got it tho
	GotMeOnMyKnees: no kiddin
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i could sing "wish you were here" by the band sparklehorse thats got the word rain in it
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: the song was written by sparklehorse scribe an lead-singer mark about the break-down of a former bandmate
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: spoiler alert in this song blue skies are traded for rain an a walk on part in the war is traded for a negro in a cage
	TeachArmandoFish: lol I don't think that's what he says
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: sparklehorse is almost as bad at trades as the detroit tigers
	GotMeOnMyKnees: I don't know what version of that song you're listening to, kid, but in the original version it's "blue skies for pain," and I don't know where the hell you got the part about the negro
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: blue skies for pain, what the hell is that spost to mean why would you trade anything for pain of course the best trade for song lyrics without mixing metaphors would be blue skies for rain
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: as a classicly traint songriter i know what im talken about whoever sang that version of the song is a dumb
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: looken at you it was probly gram funk railroad or the willbarries or whoever
	GotMeOnMyKnees: let me think, you got "Blue Eyes Cryin' In The Rain" by Hank Williams on there?
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no the only song i have on here by bocephus is the one about football preparedness
	GotMeOnMyKnees: "Fall Like Rain" by Eric Clapton
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: more like eric crapton
	GotMeOnMyKnees: I don't know, "Purple Rain" by Prince?
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: who
	TeachArmandoFish: what about the one where the fat lady raps about how she hates the rain from within a trashbag
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: YES
	Online Host Meanwhile, back in the Home Team Dugout Chatroom...
	OzzieOzzieOzzie: /squints
	OzzieOzzieOzzie: What the hell are they doing over there? Inflating a garbage bag?
	WordUpThome: IT'S HARD TO TELL FROM HERE BUT BY THE LOOKS OF THINGS IT APPEARS KYLE FARNSWORTH IS PUTTING HIS THING DOWN, FLIPPING IT, AND THEN REVERSING HIS THING
	WordUpThome: IF THEY'VE GOT A BIG ELEPHANT LET ME SEARCH IT

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